Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML
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Top comments
HuntrTrakr 4
I'd be pissed!
harrywestt 0
Ok first of why the hell would u even want to eat while taking a leak? Just saying kinda stupid.
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Comments (191)
Poetaster 10
Your a moron and a failure at fml's...
thethatoneguy_21 4
Hahaha, dude did you miss the part where it was explained that one of the laws of the world was that guys can't multitask?
iljakujala 0
lool epic fail(:
Kenneth08 0
i have a story close to this but it was a cigg not a candy bar and it didnt fall in the toilet :(
ThunderCat_09 5
It just don't seem worth it now huh lol YDI
Poetaster 10
Moderated??? Lol!! Get a grip
FrankHotpants 31
Just how many seconds could u have possibly saved from eating a "breakfast bar" while also taking piss??...was it worth it
ukrage 1
If you wanted can't for breakfast you shoulda had reeses puffs
Matty1188 6
Because a candy bar will get you through the morning. Next time, try an energy bar or something and eat it during your commute.
Calyx_fml 22
Energy bars ARE candy bars. Read the sugar content on the label.
Jjhmomma 0
Breakfast CANDY bar????..... You deserved it....