Today, I read an incoming message on my wife's phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML
Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize that said, "I miss you." Assuming it was my mom and her new phone, I replied, "Miss you too, love you!" Turns out it was my new boss, checking to see if I’d be able to work an extra shift. Even though it was her text that was badly worded, I'm now known as the person who declared her love to the boss. FML
Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip three years ago. FML
Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying, "I love you." FML
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
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Top comments
birds_fml 7
Maybe her coworker texted it to the wrong number. Don't be so quick to jump to conclusions.
BurpusMe 0
Text back! "Come over to meet my husband. Dress sexy."
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Comments (253)
birds_fml 7
Maybe her coworker texted it to the wrong number. Don't be so quick to jump to conclusions.
youreanidiot 0
that's why you check her response...
camnation 0
We don't know if the OP is jumping to conclusions. He's just stating the facts as is in his FML.
humorizer 14
How is this an FML? It's cute because they're both women.
DuhthatsObvious 0
I just want everyone to know that I think the member AndelleRae is a horrifyingly ugly demon, and we should MAN TEH HARPOONZ!! immediately please and thank you.
HahaYDI 0
I agree with 80% of these comments...time to get some
dikinass 0
dick => ass = FUN!! CCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCKKKKKKKKKKKK!! cockinbutt oh and lol, OP
AngelRaven89 0
Humorizer (60) it's an FML because his wife appears to be cheating on him with a woman. Also just because it's 2 women having an affair doesn't mean it's cute. it's still cheating. This is FML worthy.
baby_love 0
3 some? :]
baby_love 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
maybe you shouldnt be going through her phone douche bag.
BurpusMe 0
Text back! "Come over to meet my husband. Dress sexy."
Plumppotato 3
or maybe, JUST MAYBE, he wasnt going through her phone. seeing as how theyre married and whats his is hers and whats hers is his, he may have been using her phone when she got the text.
mekeskidi_fml 0
How about a threesome, you'll know if she has been faking ****** since the beginning your marriage
LOLYLIF 0
I vote for #140's suggestion.
LK4D4 0
he'll yeah!
My2864 1
lmao thats what i was thinking also why are you reading you wife's texts .. its called privacy
Pixelatedpotato 28
He glanced at her phone, not exactly snooping
akkid17 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
THREESOME!!!!!
lollerskater 0
Win.
volleyballchicka_fml 0
thats what i was thinking ! :P
Nightmare1 0
exacly what I was thinking!!!! woot woot!!!
TurdMonkey 0
great minds think alike
Hacksaw 4
Seriously, threesome. Get at least one in before the divorce.
Samuraixman 3
the way ah yeah
TheLetterZero 7
More like epic fail.
AUT_student 0
EXACTLY!!! What's the problem??? You win, FML it's your wife and not mine!
Chfanfiction 0
Fail. Why do people want threesomes anyway?
humorizer 14
On the woman's side it's not so nice; but for the dude; you're having sex twice in one instance.
edreyer43 8
Awesome idea
swampbaby985 30
Yet if the roles were reversed and the female coworker were male how many guys would be shouting "THREESOME!!!" Then? You guys sicken me with your double standards and homophobia.
laowang 13
Go head with your story
zee209 0
Maybe it was the wrong number? Or maybe she doesn't mean anything by hands, and by mouth she meant talking? Honestly, don't jump to conclusions..
Alexgoesfml 3
Actually I bet it was a joke. My best mate's father's friends wife (wow that was a mouthful) sent it to a friend of hers and she had a husband last christmas.
smlz4me 1
he wasn't. just stating facts.
watermind 0
This is not an FML.
kaitRAGE 0
THREESOME THREESOME THREESOME THREESOME THREESOME THREESOME. Woooo!
swallowthehurt 0
yeah, probably the wrong number. or she's a lesbian.
Nonamerequired 0
Or bi?
evamusical 12
Probably bi, since she's married to a man... Of course it's possible that she never really loved him but I think in this story it's the most logical option that she's bi.
lil_ham1644 29
There were no implications of a loveless or loving relationship; just that they are married.
dailyfml_er 0
maybe this can benefit you =D
itzaremix 0
can you spell ORGY?:)
Mini_Pedobear 0
o-r-g-y.
Enryu 0
Or she named her lover ( as in male) a female name so you wont get suspicious
NaturallyUnlucky 0
Relax. If you read my texts to my girlfriends, you'd think that not only was I a lesbian, that I was also married to one girl, engaged to three more, and dating many others. And that I had children with one or two of them. It's just casual teasing to combat homophobia.
Twinklestar 0
Given the OPs response and the fact he's married to the woman, it would be fairly safe to that's not her usual behaviour and your fascinating anecdote is irrelevant.
gofriars 0
Twinklestar FTW.
NaturallyUnlucky 0
Oh, it burns. So it's more likely that she's a secret lesbian/bi and he never knew a thing about it? Hmm. I guess that MUST be the case, since he knows absolutely everything about his wife and how she always interacts with every single one of her friends.
Twinklestar 0
He reads his wife's text messages so yes, obviously he does have an idea of how she usually talks to her friends(ie. not like a 13 yr old retard who thinks acting bi-sexual is cool and shows how totally open minded you are)
NaturallyUnlucky 0
Thank you; you've just proved how adept you are at jumping to conclusions, both in the OP's case and mine. I'm glad that you find unsubstantiated ad hominem attacks so very satisfying, but seeing as you're cheerfully making blanket statements completely outside of the evidence available to you, and since I have absolutely no interest in speaking to a figurative brick wall who seems to get great thrills out of antagonizing strangers on the internet, I must label you a sad internet instigator and move on.
Twinklestar 0
Yes I'm jumping to conclusions in saying the guy probably knows how his wife talks with her friends... It's a huge leap of imagination. And I don't know where I would've gotten the idea that he reads her texts. What was I thinking... It's clearly "outside of the evidence available to me", unlike the reference the the hilarious claims with your friends you described. Please forgive my "ad hominem attacks" on your fascinating and zany exchanges with your high school girl friends. I see now why it is entirely relevant to the OPs FML about his marriage, to a woman he really probably doesn't know anywhere near as well as you know your crazy and original thinking high school buddies, and how yes, that's probably exactly what happened.
glassisass 0
its threesome time :)
xoxcinderellaxox 0
agree with #2!