Today, my recent ex-boyfriend stopped by my house with a well-dressed man. He reached into his pocket and handed me records that "prove" he never cheated on me. Oh, and the man next to him? His lawyer, who gave me a summons to court over payment for the items I smashed when I dumped him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML
Today, I found out my ex bought a digital camera, an iPod, and a large flat-screen TV, all purchased with the alimony I'm paying him. FML
Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML
Today, my boyfriend came home with three of his best friends and broke up with me in front of them. Then, when I asked if we could talk privately, he filmed it for "documentation." FML
Today, I gathered all the evidence I needed to prove that my fiancé has been cheating on me. When I showed it to him, he looked at it, then looked me right in the eye and said, “So you did all this just to learn their names, cry, and stay with me anyway?” Sadly, he’s right. FML
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Top comments
bobsanction 18
That's what you get for breaking shit.
Glowworm56 27
I don't know why, but I love how the ex boyfriend brought the lawyer with him to the OP's house.
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Comments (58)
tulile 5
tuli
rickAUS 22
I've always told people who break their ex's shit that they can be liable for costs... finally someone actually got that put to them. Regardless of why you broke up, destroying property is juvenile and can get you levelled with criminal charges or a civil suit to recoup costs for replacing stuff. Big fat YDI right here.
MandySkittles 18
Two of my exes cheated on me.. I didn't break or destroy any of their belongings, because I'm an adult. Infidelity sucks, bad, but there's no reason to be immature and ruin someones personal property. YDI.
babyblueyes 27
Serves you right! ?
CantTouchThat 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Please..all you social justice freaks make me sick. What we really need to know is what she broke. More than likely it was minor damages and at most his precious video game systems he worships. Nothing major. Everyone needs to ******* calm the **** down until we get a follow up and see what OP has to say (Not like she has to defend herself on some stupid website to a bunch of strangers. She'll probably be doing enough of that in court.) Good luck OP!! P.S. It's property damage. That goes to civil court, not criminal. Stop deeming her like one.
stormy0307 16
Sounds like you've got personal experience in this...
Kavrae 1
Even a "precious video game system" can be hundreds of dollars in damages - before you take into account the games themselves, television, or surrounding items. Whether you agree with his hobbies or not, this is still something to go to court over. She has no right to destroy property regardless of what it is or what he may have done. The reason this "is major" is because somehow this has become socially acceptable behavior.
superluous1987 6
Vandalism and destruction of personal property ARE criminal offenses buddy. You can be arrested for them or brought to civil court, or both. This also isn't a social injustice issue as it has nothing to do with a government agency or even a group of people. Its a dispute between two people. You're the one cursing and carrying on, I think that you need to calm down, not everyone else who is having fun and using this site for what it is meant for. Also, what did your ex broke when you got caught cheating???
RockPrincess26 16
Maybe someone should break something of YOURS that only YOU think is valuable. And then they can say that: "It's just a stupid, common item. Who cares?" Leaving you in tears.
raz0rf0x 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hi. you're a ****. pleasant day.
samomaha 17
Wow. You're the only one worked up. Every comment I've read until yours is from someone who is not worked up at all. Sounds like YOU are the one who "needs to ******* calm the **** down".
Talis99 26
Can't touch that, I don't care if it was a Lambourghini or a pencil. You don't break what's not yours. Idiot.
Bridger Walczynski 12
doesn't matter what she broke, whether it was sound system, laptop, video game console, TV, desk, chair, ANYTHING! They all hold value. My guess, if a lawyer was involved she probably had a serious, serious freak out... someone smashes my TV, or my desk, or phone from some fake shit you're damn right they're gonna pay for it one way or another.
sasquatchius 3
It's pretty weird he got a lawyer involved. You obviously deserve to be sued, but he didn't need to spend money on a lawyer for that.
stormy0307 16
Op never said what she broke. Could have been some pretty expensive or rare/irreplaceable stuff
Dickheadmcgee 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI. Also **** you
CountZiggenpuss 7
One, be glad that you are rid of this complete tool. Two, drag it out as long as you can. Make him pay the lawyer more than the items are worth.
Talis99 26
Count, what exactly are you basing your comment on? It being okay for a person to be a psycho?
Bridger Walczynski 12
until she loses and has to then pay his legal fees.... dragging it out can screw you BIG TIME!
Knives123 0
Fun fact. The op is a he not a she. Love how everyone just assumed.
JEHR 13
FML is listing everyone as male, at least on my app.
Cali 57
Yeah JEHR, not sure what that's all about, actually. I'll have to ask the devs next week. At least the badges are finally fixed! One step at a time...
Chris Smith 9
I couldn't hit YDI fast enough with this one.