Today, at work, our grease traps were getting cleaned out. My desk is right next to the vent for outside air, and veryone thought I crapped myself and wouldn't go near me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML
Today, someone had explosive diarrhea in my bathroom at work and didn't clean it up. I'm the only woman in the office and I have only one toilet with no window or fan, so I have to leave the door open to air it out. It's right beside the canteen. Everyone will think it was me. FML
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
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Top comments
cantfixme36 28
Ah man, that sucks. Grease traps stink something nasty. A grease trap at my school overflowed, which leaked into the basement right by my locker. Being that it was a basement, the smell hung around for a long time. It was horrible.
CountZiggenpuss 7
In Woonsocket, who the hell would know the difference?
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Comments (9)
jcash52426 5
Well did you crap your pants or did someone spray you with liquid ass
CountZiggenpuss 7
In Woonsocket, who the hell would know the difference?
cantfixme36 28
Ah man, that sucks. Grease traps stink something nasty. A grease trap at my school overflowed, which leaked into the basement right by my locker. Being that it was a basement, the smell hung around for a long time. It was horrible.
nonsensical 26
Just yell "whoever smelt it, dealt it!" And go about your business. There's no way they'd think it was you after that.
species4872 20
Sounds like a win win.
Colon_Man 17
What a coincidence. I crapped my pants and everyone thought we were cleaning out the grease traps!
tygerarmy 35
Or you were by the vent that smelled and everyone avoided the vent.
Cali 57
Shhh... Logic has no value here...
tygerarmy 35
Or you were by the vent that smelled and everyone avoided the vent.