Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned, "The bitch on the pot." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML
Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML
Today, I saw my husband’s Instagram story of a young lady captioned, “How did I get so lucky?” I took a screenshot of it and sent it to him. His only defense was, “Oh fuck, I meant to post that to my Close Friends! It’s not what it looks like!” He's called me 14 times and has left 6 voicemails of him sobbing to not leave him. FML
Today, my husband picked a fight with me because I have more pictures of our child on my desk at work than I do of him. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, a friend showed me my husband's online dating profile, which includes photos of him with our kids. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You asked for it. Now all those other women will be jealous and beg their husbands to do the same. I never knew relationships had to be cookie-cutter identical.
singer0421 32
Social media is not a representation of how happy a couple is. No need to get jealous.
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Comments (140)
TogeBara 12
YDI. First off you married this guy, you should have known what you were getting into beforehand. Second you shouldn't be asking someone to do something for you just because others do it. What your SO does for you naturally should be enough to express his affection. I had a teacher who once stated that her husband has only told her he loved her once when they got married during the ceremony and never again since. By his train of thought that one time was enough to last the lifetime. Same idea applies here.
XBurytheCastleX 25
I really think that you asked for it. Take the pictures yourself!
tashb 17
Just leave your phone recording in the bathroom where he can't see it and record him taking a mean one & post it online with the caption "d-bag on the pot". Seems fair enough.
nmg_x 3
Called you a bitch too. Your husband is officially a douche
kcgatsby 8
just wax his eyebrows off and take a pic together
worldclassrager 41
Let the prank war begin
mangelon86 15
You've been married for quite some time I bet.
vixenfawkeys 5
sounds like someone should get a divorce
Demoniq 25
Yeah, divorce the man! Throw away whatever time you've shared, money spent, memories made and split any children you may have created! Don't go for counselling or do something silly like TALK about your feelings - become another divorce statistic over a FB bicker!
Jacei3eleren 2
im just here for the comments
alyoopz 10
He did give you want you wanted...