Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned, "The bitch on the pot." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML
Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML
Today, I saw my husband’s Instagram story of a young lady captioned, “How did I get so lucky?” I took a screenshot of it and sent it to him. His only defense was, “Oh fuck, I meant to post that to my Close Friends! It’s not what it looks like!” He's called me 14 times and has left 6 voicemails of him sobbing to not leave him. FML
Today, my husband picked a fight with me because I have more pictures of our child on my desk at work than I do of him. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, a friend showed me my husband's online dating profile, which includes photos of him with our kids. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You asked for it. Now all those other women will be jealous and beg their husbands to do the same. I never knew relationships had to be cookie-cutter identical.
singer0421 32
Social media is not a representation of how happy a couple is. No need to get jealous.
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Comments (140)
vividpictures 17
You all sound like a lovely couple
WooHooBar 10
Attention *****.
jman12351 0
Would you blur out your face and post pics?
Knarf_fml 10
ROTFLMAO
DarthVader77 9
You see, nagging works! Keep it up!
laylaeve 9
What a dilhole
Tinnuwen 0
Your husband has quite a sense of humor xD
KyokoSakuraChan 15
Well that's just rude. All you wanted was a damn picture.
cmo333 10
Lmao
fantasyworld 39
Some of the best relationships aren't all over social media.