Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned, "The bitch on the pot." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML
Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML
Today, I saw my husband’s Instagram story of a young lady captioned, “How did I get so lucky?” I took a screenshot of it and sent it to him. His only defense was, “Oh fuck, I meant to post that to my Close Friends! It’s not what it looks like!” He's called me 14 times and has left 6 voicemails of him sobbing to not leave him. FML
Today, my husband picked a fight with me because I have more pictures of our child on my desk at work than I do of him. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, a friend showed me my husband's online dating profile, which includes photos of him with our kids. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You asked for it. Now all those other women will be jealous and beg their husbands to do the same. I never knew relationships had to be cookie-cutter identical.
singer0421 32
Social media is not a representation of how happy a couple is. No need to get jealous.
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Comments (140)
sbarua219 17
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
vixenfawkeys 5
Although you may have a point, I think that he cross the line. Almost as though he was ashamed of her. Being an ass hole is no joke. Maybe he meant no harm by it but in doing so and posting it on social media not only is he saying she's not worth showing off, but he is basically setting up so that people can make fun of her. I know you can say she shouldn't care what others think, but he basically ridiculed her in public. Jokes like this are normally the first signs of an abusive relationship. People like you are too blind or to forviging to see that. Her acting childish does not justify him calling her a bitch in public in front of all their friends.
crazycly 7
Total YDI!! Bahahahaha
elcee1987 18
Next pic caption: The dick in the pot.
tsenx 7
I'm with you #76. My ex posted my boob on Facebook once. It was up for over a month while I begged him to remove it. My mom had to get involved before he took it down.
Emirac 10
Guys. She probably didn't mean she was seriously green with envy over these other couples. I use jealous pretty loosely and I don't mean I'm SERIOUS about it. I say exactly what she does, that I'm jealous of my boyfriend not taking cute pictures with me.
Emirac 10
Can I also point out that not every fml is the result of someone crying in a corner. Sometimes it's a not life or death serious thing that someone just casually and sarcastically comments "f my life". She's not stupid and he's not abusive. Jesus H Christ.
SatinsNightmares 17
Well that's a shitty thing to do (pun not intended). Now you have to find an even more embarrassing picture and post it lol.
ErinPinelli 24
Ahaha! This is legendary!
momac86 17
That's when you get a pic of him riding a certain animal and label it "the ass on the donkey"