Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned, "The bitch on the pot." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML
Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML
Today, I saw my husband’s Instagram story of a young lady captioned, “How did I get so lucky?” I took a screenshot of it and sent it to him. His only defense was, “Oh fuck, I meant to post that to my Close Friends! It’s not what it looks like!” He's called me 14 times and has left 6 voicemails of him sobbing to not leave him. FML
Today, my husband picked a fight with me because I have more pictures of our child on my desk at work than I do of him. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, a friend showed me my husband's online dating profile, which includes photos of him with our kids. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
You asked for it. Now all those other women will be jealous and beg their husbands to do the same. I never knew relationships had to be cookie-cutter identical.
singer0421 32
Social media is not a representation of how happy a couple is. No need to get jealous.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (140)
vikky538 29
its not fair...
unpossible 26
In a marriage it is important that both spouses are able to express their feelings openly and without fear of reprisal. This is an abusive act meant to undermine the OP and worse, to do so publicly. I don't know anything about this marriage other than this FML, but I hazard a guess that-- if this relationship is not already in a cycle of abuse in which the victim accepts responsibility for the abuser-- this is just the beginning. OP stand up for yourself and demand respect: people treat you how you allow them to treat you.
extremereviews 26
Feminist
the_real_aquaman 5
lets play spot the feminist
lulinator 40
I think you may be reading a little too much into it...
soulebelius 17
I agree that pictures aren't an exact representation for a relationship, but DAMN! People really think she was asking too much? What he did was petty and unnecessary...plus he called her a bitch! How is that not mentally abusive?
sylverdrag_fml 9
Perhaps you aren't reading enough. When you start calling your wife "the bitch" in public and post a photo of her on the loo, you are pretty much saying "I don't respect her and I certainly don't love her". That relationship is in trouble and not just because the OP was fishing for a compliment.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
or it's a joke which the OP's husband knows his friends will get, and you're reading way too much into it.
unpossible 26
According to OP who posted after the FML, it's the latter. She says it's a big joke so maybe we were reading too much into it.
MysteryGuest214 10
If this is her husband's idea of a joke, I'd hate to see him when he gets angry.
Dozer1988 14
Your husband has "keep your options open syndrome." If he posts pictures of you that look like you're a happy couple, he can't hit on other women and worse, they can't hit on him. Many men, and women, have this serious condition, there is no cure and only one treatment. The treatment is a dose of reality, and the effects are never lasting.
garrett_8614 14
This is stupid
rachangie 19
This is absolutely preposterous. Honestly, of all the ways to take this I think yours is the most ridiculous. There is no such syndrome, it's called being an asshole and I seriously don't see how any of that related to this FML.
Dozer1988 14
For the love of God, you people don't recognize sarcasm. Should I make a senseless pun to entice your small minds instead?
Lil_Red777 21
Sarcasm is one thing, but your comment made no sense and just sounded weird.
inowhtthefoxsays 20
Most awesome post ever. Sorry op but I laughed so hard at this post I thought I was gonna pee myself. But first...... Lemme take a selfie.
sometimessam 16
Go home.
crazycly 7
#15. Can I have your children. Funny as ****! :)
AFaye3964 17
You cant complain, You got what you wanted.. In a way
tony1891 22
she who stand on toilet, high on pot.
PresidentNorth 16
You're going to far Jesus.
charissaoz 7
I laughed.
Vitally 6
Did it come out okay?
RedPillSucks 33
As a mathematician, she worked it out with a pencil
kabza 13
maybe you're full of shit
Stonecold_xo 6
What a ******* dick.
ladybugz23 13
I agree with you He's jerk
droid1126 25
It was a joke. You guys take things too seriously. Its not like he nailed her to the floor in the middle of the floor and said "Sacrificing the worthless piece of shit to the dark lord"