Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I hit my boss's car. It's only my second day on the job. FML
Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss's truck. While he was in it. FML
Today, I dinged my boss's very expensive car. My car wasn’t damaged, so in a panic, I moved my car to another spot and said nothing. Less than an hour later, my boss showed me high definition security footage, so now I either cough up repair money I can’t afford, or I get fired. FML
Today, I proudly drove my new car to work, feeling on top of the world. As I parked, I noticed everyone in the lot staring at me. I smiled and waved, thinking they were admiring my car. It wasn't until I got to my desk that my boss informed me I'd dragged an orange traffic cone under my car the entire way to the office. FML
Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML
Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML
Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML
Today, I parked in my "employee of the month" parking spot by the front of the store and started my shift. About halfway through my shift, a customer backed into my vehicle, got out and checked, then drove off before I could come outside. Perks of being the best employee I can be. FML
Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
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Top comments
walkingspastic 22
It's not your fault, the man clearly jinxed you! I mean you had a perfect track record before he brought it up!
bettyc4 26
He should have knocked on wood.
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Comments (47)
Exaspera 55
It's your boss's fault. S/he shouldn't have mentioned your safety record.
tlnorman 18
Whoops! You were jinxed OP it's not your fault.
NickThunder 12
Obviously for something that to happen you had to deserve it ?
ohmissjane 24
well you still didn't completely wreck the car,so you technically are still the only person who hasn't wrecked a company car :)
mariab2898 13
You shouldn't feel too bad, OP! At least you know literally everyone else you work with has made the same mistake before!
Chanti_fml 26
And since everyone else had done it, OP just wanted to fit in.
DerpAngel 8
Would've done the same XD
anoniemm 13
Tell your boss never to do that again! He clearly jynxed it!
Drosophila82 18
Blame it on Murphy and his stupid law!
SexyMexi21 23
Like gieco.... reverse your rates and put yourself in drive to reverse your rates ?