Mel
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Woah!
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Bianka05
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
YoshiSqu4d
Today, someone tripped the fire alarm at the hotel I'm currently staying at while I was taking a shit. FML
justme
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
France
No smoke, no fire
Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
wookieewhosshe
Sutton Coldfield, United Kingdom
Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML
Drill Drilled
Lake Elsinore, United States
Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML
Meagan Ortiz
Wardrobe change please
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
wellhellothere
United States
Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML
Anonymous
Self-own
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Wet Britches
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Portland, United States
Oh dear…
Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML
esoog
United States
Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
No, **** you. Those jokes are neither clever nor funny. Eat a bowl of dicks.
DocBastard 40
The big question here is why is your anus so ******* weak? Maybe you should have gone with the small Anal Intruder 3000 rather than the Every1luvsboners Grande size.
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Comments (242)
ig4f 0
I live in Pasadena trololololololol
nmearayta 0
which do you fix first? the fire or the crap in your pants
Tantalum 1
Throw the pants into the fire. Problem fixed.
XxbrokeNCYDExX 6
Haha
Tantalum 1
Next time, shit on the fire alarm (if it's not fixed to the ceiling)
RainbowHeadache 2
Never heard of anyone literally getting the shit startled out of them, but I guess all sayings have some truth to them.
DatWhiteGuy 0
Good.
Bikrbum 6
Geez get a grip!!
The_Commentor_ 6
Looks like we have found your brown note!
shawn_11 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha I needed that!
invicta8926 0
How old are you........doesn't really matter, WOW!