Mel
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Woah!
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Bianka05
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
YoshiSqu4d
Today, someone tripped the fire alarm at the hotel I'm currently staying at while I was taking a shit. FML
justme
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
France
No smoke, no fire
Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
wookieewhosshe
Sutton Coldfield, United Kingdom
Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML
Drill Drilled
Lake Elsinore, United States
Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML
Meagan Ortiz
Wardrobe change please
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
wellhellothere
United States
Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML
Anonymous
Self-own
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Wet Britches
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Portland, United States
Oh dear…
Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML
esoog
United States
Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
No, **** you. Those jokes are neither clever nor funny. Eat a bowl of dicks.
DocBastard 40
The big question here is why is your anus so ******* weak? Maybe you should have gone with the small Anal Intruder 3000 rather than the Every1luvsboners Grande size.
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Comments (242)
Bigpoppa18 0
At prom..... Me and my date were having a good time.... Then all the Sudden she goes to dance with other guys even the last song she danced with someone else.... She didn't want anything to do with me.
yaer 4
and what happened next? did you cry? seriously OP may need diapers but you're the baby for posting this!
FreebirdIII 1
I hope you picked it up put it in your pocket, and took it out with you. Shit is an accelerant and you could be charged with arson.
Djzom13 0
*facepalm*
carmenm 6
that's disgusting what's wrong with you
HubertPL 0
what's wring with your face...god!!?
xtacticalswarmx 0
He saw your face. That's what's wrong with him. gtfo -.-
KrazyKarl 0
Holy SHIT! That is some funny shit.
striker8 0
Aha sucks
no65438 0
congrats.
spanishfool 0
some things you should definitely keep to yourself...
ig4f 0
I remember when I was in 3rd grade we had a fire drill and this one kid shit himself. Too bad I remember sitting next to him >_>
termsofbroken 0
that's an interesting shitty situation there.