Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me. I was really depressed, so a couple of my friends came over to take me out to a club to cheer me up. My ex was there, partying with his friends. He came up to me and my friends, and asked my friend if she wanted to hang out sometime. She said yes. FML
Today, my best friend promised me that she'd be there after a rough night the night before. Hours later, I did some digging and found out that she went ahead and called another group of friends behind my back, and then told me to stop being a baby when I figured it out. FML
Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML
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Top comments
Stok35 0
what a bitch
heartlessagony 0
Some best friend =/
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Comments (87)
screwedupdrea23 0
hah, typical 'best friends' these days.
FockinA 0
OP: and guess what? she probly did him before she left the bar, i bet you got dumped. yep, well stop being a whiny b*tch and learn to please a man.
BraddaKaikz 0
Yepp she banged'um
Britney_Spears 1
I invented a drink! It's called "the Britney". What you do, you take a bottle of vodka, you pour it into one of those ball... highball glasses, and then little bit of shaved ginger... and then a different type of vodka. It's not just a drink, it's a lifestyle.
meintx 9
Sounds like she's someone else's best friend too.
Makifun 19
Maybe she's just trying to be a good friend to both of you and making sure you're both okay? Being the middle-person *without* getting together with him like everyone's saying.