Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML
Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my daughter is twelve and doesn’t have a single friend, despite being kind and sweet. When I asked her why, she said, “All the other kids want me to die.” FML
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Top comments
franticravyn 7
that's cute in a way…
Coon123 0
mature 5 year old
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Comments (127)
ant1078 7
that's just sad... not ur daughter, but the fact that u posted this on FML.
Big4ofThrash 0
love is fake anyway be proud of your daughter
djmacncheeze 6
smart kid
WordSmyth 2
Tell her she has nothing to worry about, pat her on the head and say that if they do break it, you'll be there to mend it with kisses and duck tape. Duct tape fixes everything.
Ali_Br_fml 33
Lolz, boners always has a laughable comment...
BeagleJr 2
she is on smart cookie
Helloiloveyou199_fml 0
is this the same girl who has that boy working for her in the future?
klong91 7
Wise girl love sucks.
toxicmurder109 4
smart little girl
KiddNYC1O 22
Some people take this site too seriously. I notice by the downed votes of comments which are meant to be sarcastic or obviously a joke in this case. Op, at least you don't have to raise a little monster... or is she a Gaga fan?