Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Creeper much? You should have kicked at the door and put a knot on his forehead...but that's just me.
tdub10 2
Thts a poopy tom instead of a peeping tom. Lmao
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Comments (85)
wolve86 0
at least he wasn't grunting and moaning....
Mylees 0
I got stalked in the bathroom a couple times. I'm gay but I think it's pretty disgusting
Doortje 30
reminds me of the movie the sweetest thing haha, I really hope that didn't happen though, lol.
Phustercluck 11
Oh god, my eye!!!!
ScaryyMary 14
perdix strikes again!
aardvarkish 17
I get the feeling I'm being watched...
FFML_314 12
You are. By big brothers! Watch yourself, boy!
perdix 31
No, Mary, you have it wrong. First, I wouldn't be peeking in a men's bathroom, and secondly, toilet action doesn't do anything for me. Now, if you see an eyeball when you are showering, that would be me ;)
FFML_314 12
I saw that one coming. *Closes shower curtain* If you're not going to get in, then don't bother coming in! How rude!
perdix 31
I'd only come in if I'm invited. . . Was that a wink or a blink? Who cares, I'm in! Clumsy me, I dropped the soap! Would you please be a dear and pick it up for me?
perdix 31
Not even close, pend, we need at least two more girls in here to make me feel good about this. Maybe it's an OCD thing, but in group sex, the girls need to outnumber the dudes.
ScaryyMary 14
Oh, perdix, don't even try to hide your underlying gay tendencies. I know all your secrets. ;]
perdix 31
Mary, you must have me confused with one of the other middle-aged creepers you are stalking. When you are being so incredibly ironic, it's important to keep the secrets of your various prey straight. I don't have a gay bone in my body, and I don't want one, either! Remember, I am the creeper from the state where 17 is legal -- rawr!
FFML_314 12
Haha! I don't know why I bother going to sleep sometimes. Must not have been so good, if I fell asleep during the group shower sex!
ScaryyMary 14
perdix, you're the main reason I'm happy not to be from Texas. You, and the weather.
perdix 31
Mary, you don't have to be FROM Texas to stalk me. You can just come here to do that and while you're here, enjoy the BBQ, the Mexican food, the humidity, and then you could swing over to San Antonio and see the Alamo and Dick's Last Resort. Seems like the perfect itinerary for a creepy teenager obsessed with turning the tables on middle-aged creepers! I ought to be a travel agent for weirdos.
FFML_314 12
Whoa whoa whoa! The only creeper here is me and I think we all know that! I stalk AND I peep. Heh!
perdix 31
FFML_314, I have my own plan for you ;)
FFML_314 12
*Looks around* Go on..... *Runs to the bed and strikes a sexy pose* Yes?
CupAndSilverware 3
OP you should start watching "Night Shift Nurses" to get yourself started
Filitov 0
And then when you finished and got out, you realized it was a cardboard cut-out.
alicianoar 7
ahahahaa
afdude87 6
****** creepy dude. WTF is wrong with people
Fizzy56 0
hey 31, is that a talon in the background? or eclipse?
kaileigh10 2
LMAO!
QwertyMcNugget 0
Possuuuuuuums.
h2opoloplaya 0
he thought you were an alien