Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Creeper much? You should have kicked at the door and put a knot on his forehead...but that's just me.
tdub10 2
Thts a poopy tom instead of a peeping tom. Lmao
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Comments (85)
Duveed 0
LMAO FYL Indeed!! How could it take you a minute to realize he's still there? lol.
baconbutton 1
he wanted to give you a blumpkin.
perdix 31
He was trying to offer you a blumpkin. You should have politely declined or thrown open the door and let the blumpkinning begin!
schalk 12
just looked up that word in the urban dictionary & now i'm holding back the vomit
perdix 31
Isn't it disgusting!?!?! I'm not even sure it's a real thing. I think Urban Dictionary has been punk'd. Who would want to be on either end of a blumpkin? I think it's made up.
madisonpwnsyou 4
I was Iceskating with my boyfriend once, and one of his friends mentioned a that. And I asked what it was. I now wish I hadn't.
bigbadtim 7
He was looking for the glory hole.
somoee9 0
that's just AWKKWARDD. possibly an FML?
rety1 13
if you had a knife you should have shoved it through the crack at him.
jose1760 1
you should of let him blow you! head is head!!
omgpotato 5
omg creepy
stevenmx86 8
This is creepy... fyl op
andyfreay 1
that guys is a rapist. watch your bum hole PO