Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML
Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML
Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML
Today, my mom shrieked in horror and burst into hysterical tears when I casually mentioned I was having sex. I've been married for three years. My wife and I have sex. Deal with it. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law freaked out my very religious fiancé by telling him fornication is gonna send him to hell, because when I was with them in January we had sex every day for a month and she's still mad about it. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML
Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML
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Top comments
Abigail Jane Lee 9
I'd just keep that one a secret from her, no point starting an argument!
indienerdgirl 27
Just let her think that. There's no reason in starting an argument or telling her about your sex life. Some things are best kept to yourself. Especially when dealing with overly religious mothers.
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Comments (13)
im_teekay 7
What she doesn't know won't hurt her
thatslifeiguess7 16
Use that to your advantage! When you get knocked up before the wedding you can say it's the 2nd coming of Jesus
Re4ge 13
My boyfriend's family is very religious, so we just avoid touching each other when we're at their place. My father, on the other hand, bought me my pregnancy test and pays for our condoms regularly. He cares about my safety, at least!