Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother burst into tears when I told her I was engaged. They were not tears of joy, however. She was crying because although she insists she’s "not" racist, she was crying because none of her grandchildren would be "pure." My fiancé is black. FML
Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML
Today, my mother found out that my fiancée broke up with her last boyfriend because she didn't want kids and he did. She's now demanding that I either change her mind, or call things off with her. FML
Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He immediately broke off the wedding. His reason? He can't marry someone who isn't "pure". FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
Today, I planned on introducing my fiancé to my parents. After the introductions, and telling him how I hoped our relationship would have the same amount of love and commitment that has lasted my mother and father for 25 years, my parents awkwardly announced their imminent divorce. FML
Today, I was busy going over wedding plans with my fiancé, when my mother called. Apparently, she wants me to "drop the joke" about this "fake engagement", because she was under the impression I was only dating a white guy to piss her and dad off, and was now getting carried away with it. FML
Today, I got married and my mom refused to be there because my dad, whose guts she hates, was there even though I promised repeatedly that I would keep them apart. I couldn't do the mother-son dance. She keeps insisting that it was a "lapse in judgment." Yeah, like we're really going to be able to have a do-over. FML
Today, I got married to my girlfriend of three years. Her mother's Alzheimer's came into play at the wedding when she asked who I was. My bride-to-be couldn't stop crying. FML
Today, my fiancé won't tell people we're engaged because his mother doesn't approve, and he doesn't want to upset her. FML
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Top comments
iamabamf 17
I'm curious to know how she found out you weren't "pure."
PipingMouse 14
I'm sure she thought you slept in different bedrooms, and coordinated your schedules so you could avoid each other until you were married.
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Comments (118)
iamabamf 17
I'm curious to know how she found out you weren't "pure."
princessAj1 6
Probably walked in on them
Werken247 14
She found them on clips4sale
doodlecloud 27
I would assume a conversation about the dress? "Oh and of course you must have a white dress - wouldn't want anyone thinking you were a ****!" "Uh...mum...?"
ElatedEarthling 15
She probably asked them why they weren't wearing their purity rings and they came clean about it.
hannaaaahr 33
67 - I'm pretty sure at least three quarters of the women who marry in white aren't virgins.
athlete1990 4
67- the white dress is more of a tradition, than a symbol now.
Carmstro 13
3/4 is seems low...
supportcommand 17
*gasp* heathens!!
badbaby_87 5
Did you say this while shoving your fiancee in the closet and making sure all evidence of your sin was hidden before your mom came to visit?
TheChiver 7
#47 ....what?
beachchick9498 5
Now there's a word you don't often hear in day to day conversation.
MelTheGreat 23
Heathens and floosies are two under appreciated words.
PipingMouse 14
I'm sure she thought you slept in different bedrooms, and coordinated your schedules so you could avoid each other until you were married.
ICastillo 25
Oh the impurity of this FML is unbelievable. You should feel ashamed OP.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
So I guess she didn't give you matching purity rings?
PipingMouse 14
She got them condoms instead.
Shrouds 14
No, she did. But they "lost" them.
ilovera 7
You my friend just made my day
ninjaqueen101 18
What's so bad about that?
sens3sfailing 25
that the mother lacks common sense. don't get me wrong, I know there are couples out there who have lived together for a long time and are still "pure" but you usually know who those ones are. their vow is generally nothing private and its nothing to be ashamed about, so the mom thinking that her son would stay pure when he obviously had made no commitment to staying pure by the way he worded the FML, is just ignorant. and also to get upset over someone making love to a person they truely love shouldnt be bad. if a person wants to wait, great for them, if not, **** your brains out for all I care. its not my body or my life so im not going to judge.
Werken247 14
I don't think it's a case of the mom lacking common sense, I think she's lacking reality.
akiahara 14
Also, it's none of her damn business.
skoob1 12
Hmm, could all talk to my mother? ...Please?
heinous966 15
It would appear that we are in a similar situation. ._.
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
"Purity is for drinking water, not people."
luvmaboo 7
WOW...that's not awkard at all!!
saksxalmo 20
*awkward Why can no one spell it correctly?
botanistjessica 24
My favorite is akward.
saksxalmo 20
The worst one is "ackward". Really??
sens3sfailing 25
It's spelled purple* geez...
TheNewGuy03 29
At least I can derive humor from these numerous misspellings. I just sound them out phonetically. TRY IT!
charvisioku 22
"akward" sounds kind of Klingon to me xD
catanita 18
Let us know about her mother's reaction to this news.
SpottedZebra42 14
Or her father's reaction.
sniken 14
My guess is that very few fathers would be that ignorant!
mtlfenix 7
Just tell her it was only anal and oral (not in that specific order) and that both do not affect your "purity" since technically your wife to be is still a virgin...
Merylwen 24
No. Sex is sex. No matter what hole you use, you lose your virginity.
nycwrestler 17
I Wouldn't count oral as sex, but anal definitely counts.
iceroyalty1984 14
It's supposed to be sarcasm...
perdix 31
#10 is right in some communities. I've heard in some religions, a woman only loses her virginity when a penis goes in her ******, so they've got virgins doing a lot of anal and oral. Rules are rules!
lilhellian 27
Guys do it in the ear then..
S182 15
Once you go black... You go deaf.
S182 15
Once you go black, you go deaf....
KiddNYC1O 22
10- How is that pure? Literally...
athlete1990 4
#17 that is truly one of the funniest things I've read on this website.
DanielleinDC 34
Sorry, but oral sex is sex. What's really sad is that OP is a guy, and his mom is upset that he isn't a virgin at the the grand old age of 28.
chelsearenaeee 16
How can you be that much in denial?
Punksister19 10
Apparently, quite easily. :)