Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Would I be correct in assuming that your weeaboo phase has fully run it's course?
Glowworm56 27
This is why we shouldn't play around with swords if we have absolutely no idea what we're doing with them in real life.
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Comments (27)
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Just because you get your hands on a katana, that doesn't automatically make you Michonne or Zoro. And hopefully, this experience taught you that they aren't toys and that they should be handled with caution.
CSSDimian 6
This comment makes me sad. Michonne in fact was just a chick who picked up a sword, and Zoro uses a rapier
Vkfan 28
I think he meant the one from one piece
Lobby_Bee 18
This is precisely why steel toe boots are invented. It isn't too late, you still got nine more toes you can protect.
DanielleinDC 34
Maybe you should be more careful when doing demonstrations with a deadly weapon
Late For Breakfast 19
Why amputated? Should have been a clean cut and instead reattached?
Cali 57
Maybe he couldn't get to the hospital quickly enough.
flamingarrow59 21
All I needed to see was katana to know you deserved it
SapphiresMama 13
Well, I guess you'll have to give up flip-flops...☹️
PissyBitch Daily 13
Dude, owning a katana does not make you a samurai.
tonyfan00 38
I'm guessing you spell "genius" with a 'j'...
Brandon Pifer 3
The fact that you felt the need to show off a katana tells me you could've cut something else off on accident that you probably won't be using...
DumbAndYoung 30
Ok, Lance Stewart.