Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML
Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML
Today, my parents are calling me a spoilt brat and threatening to disown me if I don't let my sister, her six kids, and freshly out of jail boyfriend move into the house I spent 10 years working my ass off to buy without having a mortgage. Sis said I can sleep on the lounge as long as I pay rent. FML
Today, my sister and mom were arguing. My sister was being really nasty to my mom, and decided to get nasty with me and drag me into the argument. Naturally, I got nasty back at her and we started fighting. My mom yelled at me for getting nasty with my sister, and kicked me out of the house for “being too nasty.” FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Today, my psycho sister came home. Why did she leave? To manipulate my parents to let her live here rent free. My mother built her a new bedroom, twice the size of my unit, so she can fuck my ex with privacy. She earns 4 times what I do, but doesn't have to pay rent. I own the house with mum. FML
Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
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Top comments
EvilPotato 15
If my sister did that to me I would be seriously scared, don't bail her out OP! let her sit and reflect that that was ****** up.
Katirx 0
Get her checked out at the psych ward in your hospital. I'm surprised the cops didn't take her straight there.
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Comments (199)
demonkey_fml 4
Okay, change your locks DO NOT GIVE YOUR SISTER THE KEY! Your sister seems rather deranged and you need to separate yourself from your (1) Delusional Mom (Everything is Fine) and (2) Sister with Questionable Boundary Issues. Your sis has a very nasty mental problem. No one should be threatening you with a butcher's knife. A burglar alarm would not be amiss here either. DO NOT PAY THE BAIL IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY!
ElijahBible 0
I would tell my parents "**** YOU! WHY SHOULD BAIL HER OUT! SHE THREATENED ME WITH A WEAPON!"
doglover100 29
Say "I'm not bailing her out. She threatened me with a weapon!" She should be placed in a mental ward.
DarkSerebii 11
Your sister is insane. Don't bail her out.
fayemae 11
Wow ur life sucks, **** her then
patsl 2
You don't have to listen to her if you have an apartment!
videophone 0
She can bunk with my crazy cousin in a lock down facility lmao!!!! And no more like 1 year of secure lock down, and be medicated crazy people like that need help!
PJmeloche 2
**** no. You didn't do anything wrong. Dont even listen to their shit
CeltHound 14
Call 911 on your mom, get a restraining order for both, then move out of the state!!!!!!!
ILuv_toaster182 5
Scary. Um, restraining order? Okay.