Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, my two year-old son consistently ignores my mom and will crawl towards my dad every time. My mom is now refusing to visit because a two year-old hurt her feelings. I get it, being ignored hurts, but come on, he’s two. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Today, I asked my son to repeat something he had said. He got right up in my face and screamed that it was time I got a "fucking hearing aid." His siblings agreed with him. My husband agreed so much, he won’t even punish him for yelling and swearing, because, “Honestly, we all wanted to scream it.” FML
Today, at midnight, I heard my son calling for his mom. I stopped by his room and asked him what was wrong? He didn't tell me. Instead, he said: "Oh, I don't need you." FML
Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML
Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML
Today, my son's teacher told me that I should take my son to the doctor, because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They ran some tests, and then removed a peanut that's apparently been lodged in his nose for months. FML
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Top comments
SpringDiver 6
Haha smart kid.
saIty 17
*Sheds a tear* He's growing up so fast.
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Comments (101)
FlamingTacos 7
He's a teen locked in a two-year-olds body!
kimg0885 23
Ha that's funny. My kid puts her hands over her ears and actually says "mommy I can't hear you, maybe later."
DracoSpirita 21
Your child is epic, 17.
Drigr 9
Is that a blazed pony with a joint in its... hoof?
jizzwold 21
Yes 20, I do believe it is.
kimg0885 23
Thanks not to brag , ok just a little, "epic" is a great way to describe her.
Jerica_22 5
Lol I have the same problem with my son
MURIKKA 11
Thanks for sharing
redcyph 3
I'm sorry your son ignores you. Just so you know, I'd hang on your every word.
emeraldisle 30
They start early don't they?
emeraldisle 30
Edit: damnit it posted twice. Fail.
slicknick38 4
And so it begins...
Zachthejoker 10
He's practicing for when he becomes a teenager xD
AznSamoan52 10
Wow, if he acts like a teenager as a 2 year-old, I wonder what he's gonna act like as a teen.
retyi43 14
a 35-year-old man
Zachthejoker 10
He's practicing for when he becomes a teenager
botdfSGTC 0
Put him up for adoption...
botdfSGTC 0
Just kidding
DracoSpirita 21
Seems a little extreme, no?
toenibbler 14
not in the slightest old chap