Today, somebody in a store was talking about a girl who had a snake, and while I was walking out the store, an old lady asked me if I was the girl with the snake. I said no, to which she replied, "Oh, because you look like someone who would." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Alice Cooper has a snake, and Alice Cooper is a ******* badass.
Gubbon 17
Doesn't seem like a bad thing.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Is she saying you look like a chick with a dick?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Alice Cooper has a snake, and Alice Cooper is a ******* badass.
Gubbon 17
Doesn't seem like a bad thing.
blueknight1st 26
Are you goth?