Today, after thinking I smelled the aroma of stale alcohol, I asked my husband, who is a recovering alcoholic, if he has been completely honest with me about all that he has been doing. Bracing myself to hear about his fall off the wagon, I instead heard a confession of adultery. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling a little frisky and started making out with my husband on our couch. He had just taken off my shirt when a strange smell hit my nose. I turned my head and saw my alcoholic neighbor with a cigarette in his hand, watching the entire thing unfold. FML
Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML
Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML
Today, my husband had a 'come to Jesus' moment where he confessed he has been lying to me our entire marriage about everything, from relationships with women I have suspected to what he ate for lunch. He does not know why he lies about the little things, he said he wants to "know something that you don't." FML
Today, my husband was cold and distant towards me for the third day in a row, and I finally demanded an answer. He showed me a video of me drunkenly confessing to him that I don't find him sexually exciting, and that my abusive ex was way better in the bedroom. Fuck, I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend trying to dispose of several empty alcohol bottles, leading to a discussion how dating me and putting up with my insanity has given him a drinking problem just so he can get through the day. Me catching him seemed to be the wake up call he needed, because he dumped me. FML
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML
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Top comments
PsychoMerk 0
Leave him. No second chances for anyone, EVER. because what happens? they take it as a sign of weakness and do it allll over again ;0
anoelle 0
sad!!!! F your husband!
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Comments (113)
paperboat_fml 0
Maybe the alcohol led to the adultry?
paper_dragonfly 0
that's a good point, he could have been drunk when he did it. not that it makes it any BETTER, just that it gives you a better reason than he find you unattractive or is unfaithful normally.
GoSmegma 0
Wow... that is just plain awful.
reca89 5
that is awful :( but what's ydi?
dabomb1463 0
You deserved it
MrFlintstone 5
hahahahhahahahahahahahaha no that really sucks tell him he's going to hell
meluvsyou 0
OP, are you Sandra Bullock? Sue the mistress for 9M like that girl from NC if you kive in one of the 7 states that allows that. (I can't see where she's from on my phone app.)
gagneana000 5
what is aldultry?
jgill87 0
Yay Paige!
ferrarimach1 0
rofl maybe it was the alcohol who made him commet adultery
jyd62 0
and probably heavy drinking
TheMisanthropist 0
Sometimes people just aren't as tolerable when you're sober.