Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here." He saw her. She's his daughter. She's a new-hire… running HR. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
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Top comments
tipsypiink 0
hahah did the parents leave a nice tip after that? (;
RyanRaygun 0
Most kids are little *****. Don't feel bad.
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Comments (203)
TheRedOneBTV 0
LOL, I hope they won't fire you. It's now one of my favourites FMLs. What did the parents say?
koribis 0
Nice pic
EatYourSpinach 0
lol 12s pic made me laugh as hard as the fml did
SupKev 0
i cant stop laughing!!!! lmfao(x
brydeec 0
LMFAO. I bet her parents didn't leave you a tip.
jamblasticus 0
I'm so using the word 'cuntie' from now on.
q_tipperz 0
LOL fail! This is one of the stories that made me laugh in a long time :)
Emilaaay_alexa 0
Hahaha, this is amazing. ...and something I would manage to do as well. :x
f33zy_85 0
Hahahah lmfao that's so funny :) I'm gonna go with what #14 said. And this could be the little girl's FML Today, I was sitting at a restaraunt with my family. The waiter/waitress called me a cuntie when she asked me what she wanted. FML
musicloverr 0
ooooh mannn. that is just too good.
Always_And_Never 0
"i want some fish sticks in my mouth" LMAO sorry had to quote South park, anyways that sucks hope her parents din complain xD
FMLfangirl89 0
hahahahha horrible but sooooo funny
alexgisforme3 0
LOL. omg thats so like uncomfortable haha. like i feel so bad for you. if i accidently called a little girl that in front of her family id run away hahahahahahaha. what did you do? what did they say? are you still employed? lol