Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my dad stumbled home drunk at closing time and woke the whole house with a bang by attempting to heat a tin of baked beans in the microwave, without removing the beans from the tin first. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
The microwave was asking for it! Did you hear that tone it used when it beeped? It's lucky your father didn't give it the beating it deserved. Stupid ******* smug appliances.
Kinoster 20
Are you sure he was drunk? I'm always up for an argument with inanimate objects.
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Comments (63)
Hiimhaileypotter 53
24- Was that meant to be funny?
yeti37 16
which half was naked?
annie_nk 23
The back half.
RoboCunnilingus 23
Don't judge him, op. I'm sure plenty of people have been in heated arguments with a pretentious microwave. Is it one of those newfangled microwaves with the convection ovens? Total dicks.
annie_nk 23
Microwaves are jerks. They never cook my hot pockets all the way through the lazy bastards.
StanSmith2013 26
Let that be a lesson to you kids, don't ever lend money to the microwave before you go out drinking as when you get back, it will steal your clothes!
iOceanus 18
30) It probably was. You win some, you lose some.
AlexRen 21
The microwave is a smug appliance. It heat up things faster then the oven and toaster. The microwave had it coming.
perdix 31
I hate the term half-naked. Did you see his junk or not? He could be wearing a thong and nothing else and be 98% naked, but it only crosses the line into being naked if gentials are exposed.
WhyCantIDoRight 5
Either half-naked or half-dressed.
littlemissjayy 8
Go eat some