Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my dad stumbled home drunk at closing time and woke the whole house with a bang by attempting to heat a tin of baked beans in the microwave, without removing the beans from the tin first. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
The microwave was asking for it! Did you hear that tone it used when it beeped? It's lucky your father didn't give it the beating it deserved. Stupid ******* smug appliances.
Kinoster 20
Are you sure he was drunk? I'm always up for an argument with inanimate objects.
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Comments (63)
Kallian_fml 21
My dad got into a half-naked drunken argument with a cactus once. I made no attempt to break it up. Hours of thorny entertainment.
mikeofthunder 13
And lucky it was the microwave; I have found the toaster packs a meaner punch! 0.o
jemmers 13
Who won? Those microwaves can be tricky.
newbiehere99 6
Things must have got really heated... Crap edit didn't see that already
SApprentice 34
... Your dad just might be an alcoholic, OP. You have my sympathy. I hope you're not underage and trapped with him.
SApprentice 34
3- At least she was wearing her knickers. Please ignore this comment. I sincerely ****** up and forgot to hit the reply button. I'm a moron.
KM96 24
What'd it do this time?!
blackman303 11
legend
sens3sfailing 25
**** the toaster! Do you know how heated the stove gets when you bring up Obama? That thing turns red because its a republican, not cuze it's hot! (Please don't start a political debate, my comment is not meant to say anything about Obama or republicans)
ICastillo 25
Well microwaves are assholes always just there in the kitchen staring at you, wanting you to use them and stuff.