Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I’ve had a blocked nose for weeks, so when I sneezed I partially dislodged a massive solid booger. It was so big and thick, I had to grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. I was on a first date at the time, and he left before I got back from the bathroom. FML
Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
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Top comments
Quest_ 13
That is ******* disgusting. I think I hate you for putting the scenario in my head. Also, YDI for absentmindedly playing with your child's snot instead of putting it straight in the trash. Or, say, removing it with a tissue in the first place.
o_ospacedout 0
eww that's soo gross!
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Comments (238)
tyrob911 0
come on admit it. you liked the way it tasted otherwise you would had spat it out after a couple seconds.
Invioletlight 0
Throw it in the garbage right away. Should that 2 yr old be parenting you?
Limey9 0
Do you always stick foreign objects in your mouth without knowing what they are?
ElmyraBoo 0
^This. It's FMLs like this that makes me think we better start thinning out our numbers.
angeluv_2014 22
Your face matches perfectly with this comment.
jellybean120 10
omg! that's so disgusting! why didn't u use a tissue? YDI!!!
AluraShadowHunte 0
That is just purely unsanitary and disgusting... firstly ... why in hades name would you keep it in your hand and not throw it away? Secondly, why would you roll it up with your fingers as if your a monkey ... and third not only did you play with it but you ate it... like a monkey... therefore... you have unfortuenly desended from the " big bang" theory there.
fartmcfarter 0
WTF lol! YDI! how do u 4get ur holdin a booger n y hold 1 in the 1st place?!
allison_evans143 2
English, please.
youthink_fml 0
Obviously that's what you do with your own but forgot this one wasn't yours. You're disgusting.
brownlace 0
you liked that shit you nasty f*k.
FuckMYIife 0
wtf
purple_cherry 0
That is disgusting!