Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I’ve had a blocked nose for weeks, so when I sneezed I partially dislodged a massive solid booger. It was so big and thick, I had to grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. I was on a first date at the time, and he left before I got back from the bathroom. FML
Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Quest_ 13
That is ******* disgusting. I think I hate you for putting the scenario in my head. Also, YDI for absentmindedly playing with your child's snot instead of putting it straight in the trash. Or, say, removing it with a tissue in the first place.
o_ospacedout 0
eww that's soo gross!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (238)
iloveloosy12 0
weeird...?
Jogan1234 0
ewwwwwwww
a_peyton 3
I know nobody thinks their kids' boogers are dirty, I mean, parents wipe drool and snot away all the time, but I think I'm gonna go with "eww" on this one.
simonsaysYDI 8
Yeah and I gag everytime I see that happen too. Children are freaking disgusting.
a_peyton 3
I second that.
freaky_farzy 0
that's just nasty n disgusting. sicko
nexttimeblue 0
I feel sorry for your now traumatized son who saw his mother eat his booger for a solid minute, and who now knows instead of a mom he has the nastiest bitch on earth raising him! YDI but 4 ur son FHL!!!
TattedDownJah 2
WTF kinda nasty shit is that how u not know what u put in ur mouth , ur baby daddy need to go on Maury u prob don't kno who you've had in u either
gabirolon 1
ewwwww groosssss!!! well now u can't yell at ur kid for eating his boogers, cuz u do it to! lol
wickidsmaht 0
why the hell would you put it in your mouth to begin with? did you think it was a snack??
CallMeHush 1
Boogers, not just for breakfast anymore. ;D
aback 5
I'd hate to see what happens when you clean up after the dog.