Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML
Today, and ever since my boyfriend discovered what a rimjob is, it’s all he’s been asking for, no matter how many times I say no. I can’t be the only one who finds the thought of licking a butthole disgusting and vomit-inducing. Take the hint, no means no. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
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Top comments
Levi2411 41
Well, refuse to give him a ******* then. It's not like you need his juices near your face either since it's obviously an issue. Match his energy. 👏
Dylan Borg 12
Middle grounds. tell him to give you oral and you let him know when it's shower time so he can switch to fingers?
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Comments (17)
higgster225 5
When you squirt what's coming out in mostly urine so I don't blame your boyfriend for not wanting a golden shower!
Dana Triganza 9
Um... no
tounces7 28
There are LOTS of other guys who will consider that to be a blessing. Find one and ditch the loser who's afraid to get wet.
SouthernBelle77 3
you probably wouldn't want urine all over your face either... if you do, that's fine, but its apparently not his thing. (the liquid that comes out is mostly urine)
Charles McClure 6
It don't taste like urine... There's a huge difference in taste
Charles McClure 6
Where you at? I'll sub in for him, like a fine ambrosia
Brian Robinson 3
I've only gotten 1 girl to squirt and it was amazing how sweet it tasted. Now if I can just figure out how to get my now wife to squirt life will be perfect 👍