Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times' sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent." I got pranked by myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML
Today, I found an old notebook while clearing our house and started reading the embarrassing things I'd written as a teenager. One page had a detailed list of my future goals, including: “Never become the kind of person who owns 14 identical black shirts.” I was wearing one of them. FML
Today, I found my old school yearbook while cleaning and decided to look up what everyone was doing now. I spent two hours searching for old classmates online, comparing careers and vacations. I then realized I'd completely ignored the pile of laundry I'd started cleaning the room for. FML
Today in class I accidentally called my teacher very old and almost dead. As we were discussing a book I said that the book character is very old and close to death since it fitted to the context. Turns out this character is one year younger than my teacher and she wasn't amused. FML
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Top comments
garrett_8614 14
You: 0 You: 1 wait a minute.....
Marie54321 19
You win some and you lose some, but you my friend, did both.
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Comments (66)
Bricktothehead 21
White-out the 'Get bent' and put in a $100 bill. Now all you have to do is forget about it, find it, and your karma will be even with yourself. ...wait, what?
jellybeens_fml 16
How is this even an FML... Like yeah you pranked yourself, but there's like no actual consequence..
lukian_fml 29
Compared to the other garbage in the moderation queue, this FML probably held enough appeal to be approved. Who said FMLs need a consequence?
PenguinBitch 44
@14 Yeah there is. The book is cursed and since OP skipped pages 1-14, he "cheated" by skipping ahead and therefore forced into Jumanji.
fsomelife 26
Congratulations on writing the first FML on which nobody can debate whether we should vote that you deserve it.
fsomelife 26
Congratulations on writing first FML on which we can't debate whether or not you deserve it :P
fanartje 17
You were a badass kid i'll give you that
more4me 27
Child you : troll level, expert !
ckerane 16
even when you were a child you were awesome
GamerPerson 19
Well played, child you.
schhichick 14
ah geez!!
HappyItalian 38
And that is what you would call a paradox, sir.