Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML
Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML
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Top comments
jen1097 25
Let's hope it's just gossip...
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Did he also do it in a drug test cup?
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Comments (39)
InsanityVerge 8
you need to stop that gossip right away. blood is more important then the shitty people spreading them. Also your brother is there your whole life. your reputation will constantly change. lastely fml is on your brothers part. your poor brother
flyingsquierrel 4
look on the bright side, it didn't turn out to be you
DanineenoSwag 12
I actually do this
Toksik_Kid 14
*goes to the White House*
amazed_71 14
I wonder what kind of trail he leaves. I wouldn't think he would make it known to whomever he's visiting. This gives you the chance to tell him about it, though. Maybe, if it's true, he will change his behavior.
max_sad 4
I think I might be your brother