Today, while at a party, a cute topless woman sat next to me to flirt with the guy on the other end of the couch. This is the closest I've been to a pair of boobs in 3 years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML
Today, the girl I've been flirting with for a few weeks invited me to a house party. I gradually found out that she's been talking to my good buddy, they've been dating, actually they've been banging the whole time. And now she's in a bikini bouncing on his lap as we play Cards Against Humanity. FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I was at a party, and a cute girl in a skirt sat on my lap. We were flirting and I unfortunately got hard. She then stood up and yelled, "Are you getting hard? EW!" FML
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker, "Turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you." I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML
Today, I sat next to my crush in class in a very loose, low-hanging shirt in the front (my mother had made me wear it, I didn't want to), and I felt so giddy because he kept staring at me in shock. No, not because I'm so beautiful, but because my boobs were hanging out. FML
Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML
Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
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Top comments
eduardosuritalov 0
she musta been pretty ugly if she had to go shirtless to get a guys attention =/
Jaguar1234 0
shoulda started a conversation
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Comments (125)
SPIRESx 0
Obviously, she was desperate for your attention. Hoes these days;).
BigCizzle 0
Haha
jeffdubya 0
probably because you don't know how to spell "woman." Chicks don't dig dumbasses.
TheGenius 1
I love that you're number 42 and you're the first person to notice that.
ihasbrains 10
You beat me. I was just going through the comments to make sure someone didn't :(
prinzess_fml 25
He's not dumb. He's Chinese and English is his second or third language. How well can you write in Chinese?
mintcar 10
Wanna see boobs? Go to a concert.
zowieandzander77 1
How have you not seen boobs in 3 years when you are invited to parties where it appears to be fine to walk around topless?
ihasbrains 10
Funny point. True, too.
1oscar 0
that's a very long time it's good you went to the strip club!! lol
NegativeFreak 0
your a FAGG LoL
knowthyturtle 0
yaaay
minktheshrink 0
personally I enjoy that OP referred to them as a "pair of boobs". now perhaps I'm not hanging out with the right women but the ones I know always come in pairs so stating that fact seems repetitive.
theUBERcomment 1
I believe that you need to be comment on somebody else's comment, because this one is pure gold.
rattusrattus 19
Focus on the boobs, not your inability to get laid.