Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML
Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML
Today, I became one of those women who gave birth in a taxi. I used to laugh at those stories, because I couldn’t believe they would be so unprepared that they couldn’t get to the hospital first. Oh and I had to get a taxi because my husband had been watching football and was too drunk to drive. FML
Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML
Today, I totaled my car whilst rushing to pick up my son from daycare. This happened as I was leaving the hospital, after dropping off a wheelchair to my recently disabled wife, who is taking care of our newborn in the special care unit. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TehEpicBlack 20
Maybe you could continue the pattern and give birth to your next child in the cafeteria or somewhere.
HowieDoIt 21
You've got your work cut out for you to top it next time.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
Inciter 33
Congratulations on your new baby! It doesn't matter that you didn't make it to the delivery room. What matters is that your child came into the world safely.
caplox 6
At least you didnt have to do it in a jail cell with zombies surrounding you! (TWD)
iB_fml 8
OMG!! Your babies sure seem to be in a rush! Apparently rushing more than the hospital staff :-s Anyhow, I hope you all are happy and healthy. And of course, congrats!! :)
jewelz1012 11
I'd slap her for saying that and then say you only did it because of your hormones!
WardenWolf 26
YDI for not learning your lesson and getting to the hospital earlier this time.
jasminejzhu 22
.
HellOnWheels357 11
You need to stop procrasti-birthing
p36288 17
Recent years in CHINA each mom has only one chance to have baby and give birth according the national law. You should feel grateful and happy while you have at least 2 healthy babies now, no matter where were they born.
Milliemoo5 6
#146 China! Where vaginas meet cardboard boxes. Filled with sperm.
LittleMsAwesome 6
wow, well just think, stories to tell the grand kids .....
musiciangirl591 16
some women have fast labors, my mother, 20 years ago, went into labor around 10 AM, around 11 AM i was born, she didn't even have time for an epidural!
Mandie56 4
Hey, no worries....my friend and I used to pretend to give birth in burning building, elevators, airplanes, and roller coasters!! Maybe your kids are going to become some sort of supernatural creature or somethiing.