Today, I became one of those women who gave birth in a taxi. I used to laugh at those stories, because I couldn’t believe they would be so unprepared that they couldn’t get to the hospital first. Oh and I had to get a taxi because my husband had been watching football and was too drunk to drive. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Today, I went into labor, and my husband wasn't answering his phone. I called my sister to ask her to drive me to the hospital but she said she'd only do it if I paid her $1000. I had to dial 911, and almost gave birth in my bathroom in process. FML
Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML
Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce, and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting another taxi from his place. FML
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Well, you did choose to have a baby during football season. You really should try to get pregnant during the summer, so as not to interrupt football watching with expanding your family. Get your priorities straight, lady!
Doom_Kitty 14
I would probably never forgive him.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Well, you did choose to have a baby during football season. You really should try to get pregnant during the summer, so as not to interrupt football watching with expanding your family. Get your priorities straight, lady!
Devin Melnyk 3
was this in GP AB? cause if so I heard about that. and that is a crazy story.
Doom_Kitty 14
I would probably never forgive him.