Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML
Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML
Today, I became one of those women who gave birth in a taxi. I used to laugh at those stories, because I couldn’t believe they would be so unprepared that they couldn’t get to the hospital first. Oh and I had to get a taxi because my husband had been watching football and was too drunk to drive. FML
Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML
Today, I totaled my car whilst rushing to pick up my son from daycare. This happened as I was leaving the hospital, after dropping off a wheelchair to my recently disabled wife, who is taking care of our newborn in the special care unit. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
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Top comments
TehEpicBlack 20
Maybe you could continue the pattern and give birth to your next child in the cafeteria or somewhere.
HowieDoIt 21
You've got your work cut out for you to top it next time.
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Comments (98)
DoctorDex 11
Everyone saw...
sux4u121 10
I doubt anybody saw, a woman in severe pain loudly screaming while giving birth in a parking lot, who the hell would notice that?~
kgurlswag 9
No sh*t Sherlock.
_wolfbane 8
So what if everyone saw, it's not like she could help it.
teareb 9
34-shit*
boojie97 12
We all knew what s/he was saying, dummy.
insertnameherr 11
the only thing OP needs to worry about is having a normal and healthy baby. no one gives a shit where it was born. at least it wasn't in a toilet or something.
wowlolreally 12
Why do you keep going to this hospital??
a1f0sff 25
Oh I don't know, 74, it is probably the nearest one??
QueenSaru 28
Not close enough, clearly. XD
Ameel_fml 19
You generally don't get to choose which hospital to go to. When you're in labor, you just want to get to the nearest hospital and get the baby out!
nickob96 25
My sister in law when all the way to st Charles from Patchogue... So I don't agree with you
jesustitts 20
90- I chose which hospital to give birth at, my sister chose which hospital to give birth at. So trust me you can choose no matter the distance especially if you're like us and prefer doctors we are familiar with.
primadonna9396 16
I'm guessing the OP's labor and contractions begin occurring far too suddenly to prepare much ahead of time. I have a cousin like that. FYL OP, but at least your births tend to go easily, that's a silver lining for sure.
VictorMystert 6
Your 19 you ****
Lizzy500 16
131-one, your name is "jesustitts" so I cant take you seriously. two, being able to choose your own hospital varies depending on your insurance and where you live. just because YOU got to do it that way doesn't mean EVERYONE does.
welshjumper 4
Well derr! I mean if I was in her position, I would care as much about that
dancinwookie 21
Winston Churchill was born in a lady's bathroom stall.
NikkiRainbow63 31
#108 isnt st charles the closest to her? pretty sure stony brook is way farther and i dont think mather does babies
HowieDoIt 21
You've got your work cut out for you to top it next time.
oj101 33
OP's name indicates that she'll give birth at her home next time, so I doubt it.
Imhere4fml 24
... At the main entrance of the hospital !
tjv3 10
Umm hmm talk about procrastinating
oj101 33
I never thought I would ever use IB standard level French outside school. Looks like it came in handy on this occasion.
lishajoy777 14
They say third time's the charm!
TehEpicBlack 20
Maybe you could continue the pattern and give birth to your next child in the cafeteria or somewhere.
snufflelump 12
or you could try a sauna, jacuzzi, in the back row at the movie!
kwyk 23
I'd always wondered what causes that much noise in the back row of movies... I guess I now know.
slappygecko 21
Or in a car on the way to the hospital
Mossears133 15
SI always thought a rollercoaster would be a cool place to be born. If you're gonna come out screaming, it should be with good reason! Edit: I remembered 2 seconds after posting this that they generally don't let pregnant ladies on rollercoasters....... My bad FMLers! /)_-
happyapy 16
Privacy is overrated.
kamikrazy 6
Because giving birth in a hospital room is too mainstream.
MsSoulReaper 27
So much for comfort.. But congratulations OP :)
AustinTaylor06 9
I don't think giving birth is too comfortable in first place
mikail_fml 6
lol at the op name ! "next time I will stay home"
hama806 19
The name should have been "tardy for the party."
ophel1a 7
thanks for the translation--i was curious. :D
honestjane 22
But she's gradually making her way closer to the room...Maybe next time she'll make it there.
shellzy 20
Good lord, does your labor last for only ten minutes or are you just a huge procrastinator?
gmc_blossom 21
Shit, I'm going into labor! Ah, well. I'll just give birth later.
Metallica36176 16
Either that or the hospital reallllllly sucks and take their damn time?
Lizzy500 16
Some labors are incredibly quick. Neither of mine gave me time for an epidural, though I did make it to the hospital in time. My 2nd was about 3 hours from start to finish.
navik23 6
Better timing next time I hope!
Harpy20 24
Well according to OP's name, next time she'll stay at home.
MagicStallion 9
The long name for the FML somewhat indicates your frustration! How terrible for you though... If you decide to have another after all that's happened, let's hope third time lucky? Also, you should just be glad the babies are/were safe, as they should come first. Still, FYL, I feel bad for ya.
diegogt 3
It's French for 'next time I'm staying home' , she didn't just write anything.
KingCeltic77 18
I'm sure she didn't say it to be mean.
ClaremoreZebra 8
Obviously.