Today, I stepped outside my office building for a smoke break and I witnessed a mugging so I ran over to stop it. I succeeded in getting mugged instead of the original target. I then couldn't get into my building until a coworker left an hour later. My boss was mad and still doesn't believe me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML
Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML
Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML
Today, as I was driving to work, I got a flat tire. While attempting to replace said tire, I got mugged. The guy took all my money, my iPod, cellphone, and CDs. When I finally called my boss to explain my situation, he fired me. Why? Because I was late and had an "overactive imagination." FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
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Top comments
HeavyMetalViking 0
I know your name, it's Clark Can't, or is it Bruise Wayne?
Ummmmyeah 0
well at least you prevented the original target from getting mugged.
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Comments (128)
xcuerdenx 1
You totaly deserved it! Youve proven that not only does smoking kill but it gets you mugged aswell!
ryrywakaka 0
I've been smoking for 6 years and I've never been mugged
SirEBC 7
With great power comes great responsibility.
Maciejas 8
Jesh, this person has just gotten mugged of his phone, keys and probably other things, and all you care about is that he smokes? F your lives, guys. F your lives.
lmaoatall 6
true this. where the **** are peoples priorities?
rowens78 0
I think what your boss was wondering is: how were you planning to get back in the building regardless of being mugged or not?
Zombie65 0
to many holes in that story I don't believe you either ydi
lmaoatall 6
more people are more concerned over the fact you went out to have a smoke, rather the point of your comment. being mugged that is. you should have twisted your statement a little by saying, today, I stepped outside to take a wiz..
revilo666 0
we all lern to mind our own bigness the hard way
smartman136 8
thats why you carry the bear grylls ultimate knife withyou wherever you go. either that or a ka-bar. i would trust both in a fight
Calyx_fml 22
You aren't batman. Call the cops next time.
alex1432 9
this is when you pull your 44 magnum and blow the muggers head off