Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML
Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML
Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML
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Top comments
PenguinBitch 44
*two crows laugh nearby*
LiveLifeAllDay 11
I'm usually nice about this but I would have loved to see this happen
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Comments (27)
figgity83 15
Well now you know but a sticker on the glass lol.
fsomelife 26
For a second I thought a bird flew into your face and you got a feel of the speed they're going at. Would have to have been a big-ass bird to break your nose that way.
iAmPaul 49
Oh that's right you Americans have to pay for your healthcare.
AliGInTheHouse 24
I know right. That's a good reason why the UK and other countries are awesome.
geekpower_fml 28
Sheldon Cooper, is that you?
Perfectly_Killer 14
I've ran into a pole and a bench. you are not alone, my friend.
teapotrevolt 27
This sounds priceless to witness.
felishh 4
Too bad your not in Canada, would have got that broken nose fixed for free lol
worldclassrager 41
That's the power of windex...
zeffra13 31
I'd say that's more feeling like a dog, since birds generally break their neck and die in those situations.
mewlugia 8
WAS THIS RECORDED AND POSTED BY ANY CHANCE?????????? I need to know!!!!!
shay_serendipity 29
YOU SEEM VERY ENTHUSIASTIC WITH YOUR EXCESSIVE USE OF PUNCTUATION AND CAPITALIZATION!!!!!!!!!!