Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
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Top comments
Vitualamen 11
Classy. He may have talent.. And several restraining orders. Take it as a compliment!
Wizardo 34
If I've learnt anything from Pokémon its that you don't make eye contact with people, you just get into unwanted battles... in this case unwanted rap battles.
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Comments (91)
Lisee92 18
Music these days. No wonder he thought it was the right move, 90 percent of rap songs today are about bitches, ass and money.
pinkkayden 7
Please educate yourself ... There is such thing as Christian rap that talks of nothing of the sort.
Lisee92 18
No thanks, I don't really feel the need to educate myself on Christian rap. Although I have heard about it, I don't think that's something most people listen to.
perdix 31
#19, that could be the other 10% that's not about bitches, ass and money. If there were a Christian rap that talked about Mary Magdalene, Mary riding into Bethlehem on a ass and Jesus turning over the moneychangers' tables, it could be part of that 90%.
JACKxRAWR 22
My buddies did security for a Christian rap gig once.
martin8337 36
Amen.
zandalee 20
Are you Eminem? That was pretty damn good. :)
esines 9
OP looked him in the eye, You should never do that with a gangster guy, So while you listen to the lyrics he spit, He points down at his throbbing, tiny dick
shutupmichaela 18
... so you sucked him off, yeah?
ItsAnanya 25
Here, Have my up vote #14. That was great.
LeatherEmporium 7
Well he could have at least used a different genre.
kenoswild 14
I'd be surprised if he got lucky that way. You did the right thing by keep walking and holding onto your pepper spray. (That is, assuming that was what you did.)
EvanEvanEvan 3
HEY YO,YOYO,SUCK ME SUCK ME YO BITCH$%#@#$%##@#$%%#
perdix 31
I'm wondering how often this strategy works for that guy. If he fails too often, he needs to switch it up. He ought to try performing "screamo" while pointing at your boobs -- I'd think that would work!
Aczidraindrop420 7
"Suck me beautiful!"