Anonymous
Mexico 🌶️ Spicy
Use the force
Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Nottingham, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Get it where you can
Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML
padmelover
He knows the price of everything and the value of nothing
Today, my dad said I need to stop playing with toys and threw my lightsaber out of the window. It was a replica of the Lightsaber used by Mark Hamill, made from the same type handle from a 1970s camera, just like the film prop. It was over 40 years-old and worth thousands. Not anymore, as it's now scratched and in two pieces. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
One size fits all
Today, I bought an electric sex toy to make masturbating more interesting. My penis wasn’t long enough to reach the moving massaging parts on the inside, and just pathetically rested a few inches inside the opening. I could call it a bad design but I’d be lying, I just have a small dick. FML
TeeJay
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Taylor
United States 🌶️ Spicy
War drums
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
lopez
France 🌶️ Spicy
I think we're alone now
Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden, I heard a familiar voice, saying, "At least someone's having fun…" It was my boss. FML
rastafarimon
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML
a
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
Average Lover
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Top comments
LukeFree 0
The force is strong with this one.....
IndiRae 9
You deserve it for calling it a Star Wars sword.
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Comments (460)
XxneoncoloursxX 0
It's a lightsaber.... Not a sword... Get it right.
kellyskindakool 5
Uhmm steal one, my friend saw this old lady putting them in her purse lmao
anawfulhuman 0
Careful, those things melt doors.
Bikrbum 6
Ewww. You're sick!!
oneleggedbeauty 0
Honestly?? Masturbating is masturbating. Whatever feels good
Azrael9 11
you can order one off the internet.
gigi03 5
Thats way they made bananas
tom_es 3
Order it online
GiantEvilCookie 6
You shouldn't ashamed to buy a sex toy. A sex toy is something that every human should use. :D
pYrO92583 0
You must be stretched out cause those are huge
Calyx_fml 22
Consider yourself lucky that it wasn't a real one.