Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Today, some of my classmates brought cupcakes to celebrate my birthday. I took the leftovers with me after class, and when my mom picked me up from school, she asked, "What are the cupcakes for?" FML
Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
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Top comments
denaeb123 24
Has he watched the parent trap? I'm almost 100% sure that phrase is in there during the sloppy joe scene
Destinee_1 13
This kids starting early.
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Comments (56)
Destinee_1 13
This kids starting early.
Dick_diamond 22
* These
thatguy3812 25
#39 she said it correctly as she was referring to op's child and not the whole group of children
False_Stupidity 42
Probably heard it at school, kids pick up some of the worst language at school.
xKrisSmoove 21
Maybe he was eating Sloppy Joes at school and asked for more?
Dave_Davington 34
Sloppy joes aren't really a thing in Australia.
Dimps94 9
Omg!!! Hilarious
NinjaBoyDavido 13
This is normal among kids, they don't know any better, and are naturally curious, but it can suck for the parents. Just tell him when he says something he didn't know was inappropriate
mick95_fml 19
When I first read this I didn't think anything of it. I thought maybe the cake was all messy and all and why is this so horrible. My mind needs to be in the gutter more. My advice laugh it off. :)
Miscellanonymous 8
kids will be kids. just tell him not all seconds are sloppy... but let him know when they are!!!!
slackerjoe 22
Is your kid hanging out with older kids? Or maybe from a sibling? Or maybe they have just heard you saying it while talking to your friends on the phone. You never know when kids are listening!
starile 20
TV and the Internet are HUGE influences on people nowadays, especially children
kimg0885 23
At least he doesn't want to get chocolate wasted too! Then you might have a problem.
wesseltheweasle 14
Sorry but what are sloppy seconds? From the Netherlands btw so that is why I don't know
starile 20
When a man has sex with a woman who just had sex with another man.
bioss89 16
Use Urban Dictionary for the better explanation of the phrase ;)