Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Today, some of my classmates brought cupcakes to celebrate my birthday. I took the leftovers with me after class, and when my mom picked me up from school, she asked, "What are the cupcakes for?" FML
Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
denaeb123 24
Has he watched the parent trap? I'm almost 100% sure that phrase is in there during the sloppy joe scene
Destinee_1 13
This kids starting early.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
Khaleesi_D 9
Do they have an older sibling? Older siblings teach you all the important stuff at that age, like how to flip people off. maybe a kid in class has an older sibling, maybe they learned it from them. Maybe an older cousin. Any way older family members are where they learn the good stuff.
zenrael 21
Is he an only child? If not there's your answer. If so then he probably heard it at school.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Aww that is the parents' dirty minds twisting it. What person wouldn't have found it funny and cute!
gintwinsmoore 20
there's no telling where he heard that from. kids are exposed to more conversations than one will ever know. they're very impressionable which is why we as parents should watch what and who they're exposed to.
randomheartthrob 7
Kids say the darrnest things
abNormal62 23
The boy's got game! Did he also get a second piece of cake?
Ariana683 8
What does sloppy seconds mean
iwadasn 33
The older Marvel comics used to use the phrase a lot as just a synonym for "seconds." It's possible that's where he got it from.
Denny1988 19
Chris Brown and Rhianna, cake cake cake cake cake cake cake
sgardner10682 4
judging you for something a young child says isn't right. But also now might be the time to reach how to act in public. I'm not judging my mom still has to remind me I'm in public at 32 lol!