Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter, or my son. Turns out they all are. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML
Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML
Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, my asshole uncle stole the painkillers I was prescribed after my surgery. To top it all off, the pharmacy called CPS on my mom when she attempted to replace them because they thought she was lying, so they're going to be investigating. FML
Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML
Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML
Today, I ordered a surveillance camera for my home. The package got stolen after being delivered. I think they're onto me. FML
Today, I found my car had been robbed. The thieves stole my GPS, my iPod and my digital camera. While I was filing the police report, the officer recommended I take photos for insurance purposes. Then she remembered my camera had been stolen. She actually started laughing. FML
Today, a "friend" tried to sell me a digital camera that I recognized that was stolen from my home a week earlier, along with a few other things. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Wow, looks like you could start up a family drug business!
NickCassell 2
Can I has some? :D
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Comments (204)
Jazzgirl101 12
you need to find a better hiding place
bizarre_ftw 22
Your picture is creepy and awesome at the same time and you and it are automatically 1,000,000 times better for being from England!!! And btw I realize people get pissed when others comment on photos so thumb me down if you must cuz that in my opinion is worth saying.
bcgirl69 0
They r reason ppl like my hubby who is disabled have a hrd time gttg pain meds!
Sukismama 2
Oooo yummy must be something good probably something with oxycodone looks like your whole family likes getting ****** up
perdix 31
They probably pushed you down the stairs just so you'd need painkillers, and then they could steal 'em. Hillbilly Heroin junkies are devious and resourceful.
brianjman14 23
switch them with* EDIT: This was meant for my comment below you. Sorry.
brianjman14 23
Switch them and cyanide pills for your family. :D
limpy44 5
Are the painkillers for the headache of a family you have?
kduubb 7
caught in the act!(;
HomeAl0ne 20
I wonder if there were any blow jobs or deer caught on cam too.
thegreaterdane 4
They should have been locked away. It's your own fault.
Malinkrot 3
If you are old enough to be stealing and abusing prescription drugs, you are old enough to know that stealing is wrong. I'm sure the OP's kids are at least teenagers and therefore aren't babies who need things hidden from them because they don't know any better. It's hilarious how you teenagers whine about not being respected and treated like adults, yet say that you shouldn't be responsible for stealing drugs because its the fault of the person who left them out.
Habling 6
Change the place where you put it?
mama8809 0
That's messed up