Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
*Cue the shitty puns*
TenderizeMe 0
MUWHA
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Comments (74)
echoxseven_fml 0
You should have just let loose. Groan and grunt too. That'll get them to back off.
slyman4u 0
well I bet it stank for the next person to use it! lay backs a bitch!
marissakmnn 0
was there only one potty?:/
ribbyc80 0
I eat massive amounts of spaghetti
keilah 4
Eh, my city's sewerage system is only just functioning again in my half of the city after being broken since late February. The closest portaloo to our house (when we got one - before that it was a long drop) was a five minute walk and you had to wear a dust mask to go outside. All the portaloos were on the side of the road, including some at extremely busy intersections. And there was always the risk that there'd be an aftershock while you were letting one loose. Now we have the height of luxury - a chemical toilet! Which is much harder to poo on because of the lower height and smaller seat (something about angles, I guess). I've pretty much lost sympathy for minor toilet hassles and embarrassments...
hselene 2
g
BayMami707 0
hahHahhaahhahaha
angryoriental 0
well how rude
Kiirst_mt1994 26
haha!
mrssuarez2011 12
Aww I felt bad for this person