Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML
Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML
Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML
Today, despite putting all the food in the fridge, taking all the rubbish outside, cleaning the house top to bottom and setting up bait, we're still dealing with a bloody huge ant problem. I've now got a rash all over from being bitten while I sleep. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML
Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
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Top comments
Angelrose2004 17
That's what happens when you listen to your neighbor and spray your tree with sprite.
clancey6 4
You know what that means.. CHRISTMAS SPIRIT ALLLL YEAR ROUND!!
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Comments (106)
rott3n 6
Maybe they where hibernating in it.
Eluveitie 9
Because ants totally hibernate.
hellbilly205 17
I never knew there was green ants, the more you know...
yoyoforpeace 14
Well it could all be easily avoided with an artificial tree. Save money and use it every year.
vocaloidtiger 12
52 - But fake trees just kill the spirit... Plus, the real ones smell nice.
Grimmerie 31
Fake trees are awesome. We have two, both pre-lit, so I don't have to fuss with wires every year. We buy pine boughs and shove them into the tree so the house smells like pine, but we aren't sacrificing two live trees each year. (Huge house requires two trees apparently.) We've had them for six years. That's twelve trees we haven't killed.
rott3n 6
They sure as shit don't shovel snow. They hibernate.
carleybeak 21
People buy Christmas trees for different reasons, like smell.
gman90210 18
As long as you go to your local tree farm it's a good idea
Ilikepie82479 20
#81 or they die
clancey6 4
You know what that means.. CHRISTMAS SPIRIT ALLLL YEAR ROUND!!
quontag 15
Christmas actually lasts until January 7. Why was OP taking it down early?
decidedlyvague 11
I once had a nest of praying mantises hatch out of my Christmas tree. They were less than an inch tall, and adorable. There were dozens of them.
abbiyroad 16
They then probably ate each other
Sports_guy3 28
Put the rest of your Christmas stuff up. Christmas every day.
outage 4
that's when you torch it
bunny911 16
My thoughts exactly. KILL IT WITH FIRE!!
desoto96 9
Setting a big tree in fire on your house. What could go wrong?
iCake 13
Come on baby! LIGHT MY FIRE!!!
FlyingPie 17
#59: You got "on" and "in" backwards. It should be "ON fire IN your house".
desoto96 9
89 you don't say?
chris_a7x 11
Yea either torch or exterminator!
Angelrose2004 17
That's what happens when you listen to your neighbor and spray your tree with sprite.
camsterjoe 12
So if I use root bear I get brown ants?
Trai 6
I don't see how adding bears to the equation creates different colored ants..
VorpikeII 17
It doesn't. Just adds naked ants. Covered in honey, with OP hiding in the tree with the ants.
gman90210 18
Ha now that was good reply that was to #36
Kyouzou 15
I'm sorry you had to burn the house down in the dead of winter but hey- sacrifices had to be made.
DingoCJ 15
It's ok, it's summer in Australia, he'll be right.
chunkalicious 7
Green ants? That's a new one for me, here we usually have praying mantis' living in our trees
hilda_kitty 16
We usually have snow in ours...
Miki101 18
We usually have bees in ours....
VorpikeII 17
We usually have... Wait, I'm Jewish, we don't have christmas trees at all.
vocaloidtiger 12
Okay guys, so I ACTUALLY researched this: OP, being from Australia, could be talking about one of two species of ants that both have the nickname "Green Ant" - "Green Ants" is a nickname often given to Weaver Ants (in this case, the Australian Weaver Ant). These ants are actually brown, so I really don't know why they were given the nickname they have, but whatever. They do bite, and, restating the obvious, can take residence in Australia. OP could ALSO, however, be talking about the Green-Head Ant, which is often confused with the Weaver ant because both species have been dubbed "Green Ant". The Green-Head Ant IS slightly green - it sort of almost looks metallic, so basically, shiny and dark green. These are probably the ants that OP is talking about, as they are most often found in suburban/urban areas. Hope this clears things up for everyone. c: Also, sorry for ruining everyone's fun in trying to figure things out yourselves... I accept all thumb-downs openly.
pipinya 8
I live in Australia, too, and I was told that Green Ants were just a species of radioactive cross-bred oxen and possum At least, that's what Steve Irwin taught me..
False_Stupidity 42
#64 is probably right about the species and having been bitten by the blighters numerous times before, I can say that even one bite hurts like hell and I can relate to the OP's fear of going near the tree. I'd suggest arming oneself with cans of Mortein and going in 'guns ablazin'
teddybby 5
Wow! I have been bitten by those nasty things so many times & now I know their history! Haha thanks :)
DingoCJ 15
Next time you see one, bite it back. Their bums taste sweet and sour. Don't believe me? Give it a go.
grammarie 1
The weaver ants you speak of have large bright green bums, so yes, they are pretty much green. That's what "green ants" mean in northern Australia. They are edible & nutritious (lol). Their bites are annoying but fortunately the pain doesn't last very long. They do have a nasty habit of invading the house though, especially in the monsoon season.
FitForFun 11
My great ant used to have a bite of a problem taking down her tree. I always had to help.
howdeedoo 22
How interesting...
mbuck87 19
Worst. Puns. Ever.
astralvagan 20
No.... Just no....
Pix3lJunk 12
You need some practice at puns.
hilda_kitty 16
I couldn't think of a worser pun even if I tried.
capslockisgood 19
30 Worser? Really?
AbstraktThoughts 13
Time to avada kedarva 30. And probably 8's comment too...
MissIconic 8
Maybe it was a typo with his comment?
astralvagan 20
Spray it with pyrethrum and stay away for a day or so.... It will work
Sly_Assassin 11
I never knew green ants existed but FYL OP
blunttobluntest 12
FML teaches you new things everyday!
pipinya 8
Green ants are a species of radioactive, cross-bred oxen and possum. Very common in the wild of Australia