Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML
Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML
Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML
Today, despite putting all the food in the fridge, taking all the rubbish outside, cleaning the house top to bottom and setting up bait, we're still dealing with a bloody huge ant problem. I've now got a rash all over from being bitten while I sleep. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML
Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
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Top comments
Angelrose2004 17
That's what happens when you listen to your neighbor and spray your tree with sprite.
clancey6 4
You know what that means.. CHRISTMAS SPIRIT ALLLL YEAR ROUND!!
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Comments (106)
RubenTheGreek 8
didnt know green ants existed, useful to know
mandadarling 10
Looks like you got a visit from Anty Claus.
Daz3 5
That's Australia for ya!
emilybailey 8
Fake tree for the win!
80skid 15
Smother that thing with bug spray and try again later.
Enslaved 38
I guess it's good that you discovered the colony of ants early on but I always thought it was tradition to keep your decorations up until January 7th to celebrate the New Year! (:
Miki101 18
It's not about the New Year. In Christian religions they believe that the Magi didn't get to Jesus in the manger until January 6th, thus creating the 12 Days of Christmas. It's tradition to put the tree up on December 24th and take it down on January 7th in order to celebrate all of it.
crazytwinsmom 25
Our city trash pickup won't take the tree after the second trash day after Christmas. And it can't have anything on it, like icicles, or they leave it.
happylawyer 16
Unless you live in Puerto Rico where the Christmas trees are up from the weekend after Thanksgiving until mid January (8 days after the 6th)...little more than 50 days of Christmas.
crazytwinsmom 25
Nice! I once kept one up until March, but didn't turn on the lights after early January because of the dryness.
bugmenotmofo 34
Well... are flamethrowers legal in your area?
Ozuru 11
Considering flame throwers can throw flames, I doubt they're allowed in any non third world country.
Grimmerie 31
Homemade flamethrowers are apparently perfectly legal in the US.
bugmenotmofo 34
28, flamethrowers are legal in US - as farming equipment, depending on state.
tybird 6
Burn that sh@t to the ground
capslockisgood 19
And OPs house along with it!
vocaloidtiger 12
You know you don't have to censor anything on FML... Right?
BubbleGrunge 18
I hear Australia has massively large spiders. Now the ants are green? I really want to visit there some day, any other critters to be forewarned about? Personally, I wouldn't mind being attacked by little blonde bug named Daniel Johns....
Kyouzou 15
All of them.
onorexveritas 24
I've never heard of green ants before o.o I do agree, that does suck