Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML
Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML
Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML
Today, despite putting all the food in the fridge, taking all the rubbish outside, cleaning the house top to bottom and setting up bait, we're still dealing with a bloody huge ant problem. I've now got a rash all over from being bitten while I sleep. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML
Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
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Top comments
Angelrose2004 17
That's what happens when you listen to your neighbor and spray your tree with sprite.
clancey6 4
You know what that means.. CHRISTMAS SPIRIT ALLLL YEAR ROUND!!
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Comments (106)
Kidkaplan 19
RAAAIIID! "Kills bugs dead"
shireman97 6
As if you can kill something until it's alive
perdix 31
I guess your holidays have become *lowers sunglasses* ant-i-climactic.
lambda_fml 40
my, you do wear them sunglasses alot. Persistant eye flu ehh?
perdix 31
Nah, it just works better than saying, "Wait on it, wait on it."
poccocurantes 7
Green ants are a new one on me. I have heard of jumping jacks though. at least it wasn't those.
False_Stupidity 42
They are vicious little ants, common in Australia that hurt like Satan's pitchfork when they bite.
U_GotitDude 18
Burn it.
KingCeltic77 18
That bites.
emybear_fml 5
3 words: can of Raid
kingsian 15
Agreed
bigdude1302 2
There are green ants in the world?
conholio33 28
Green ants????? Only heard of red ants and black ants
Pitbull305 9
Not aware if anyone else caught Op said "green ants"... I've never heard of those. F*** Google, I'm gonna post my puzzlement.
Twisted_Angel 17
How did you not notice them before now? ants usually can be seen if you pay attention...
False_Stupidity 42
If they were hiding in the tree, which I assume they were, you'd never see em unless you were carefully looking for them specifically... and who checks every part of a Christmas tree just in case it has ants?