Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML
Today, my dad was drunk and angry, so I went to the neighbor's since I didn't know what to do. He was so nice and comforted me as I cried. Then his wife came home, called him a pedophile, beat me, and threw me out. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML
Today, my family yelled at me for being a "selfish disappointment." My crime? Not being able to help my sister's boyfriend do his homework while I'm working on my class finals. FML
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Top comments
Mattfail 0
Wow.... Your dad must suck
Nonamerequired 0
I think he's more likely to mess up the names than the faces.
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Comments (80)
TxReV 0
I bet what happened is he mixed up the names. He probably was referring to your sister. Mixing up a name is more likely than not realizing who your talking to.
flower_power96 0
Don't worry. I'm sure he was just confused, because the alcohol was clouding his mind. I'm sure that you are a very helpful person, and that he was referring to your sister, or some random girl at the bar who wouldn't help him, even. Just disregard the comment, and get on with your life! Use those words to make yourself a better person, and talk with him about it when he is sober.
plethora 3
Am I the only one who is kind of hoping that there is no sister, just Vanessa?
nyboy718 0
well maybe your dad wouldnt think so badly of you if you stopped leaking photos of yourself nude over the internet. send them to zac not us. lol jk but fyl
LilaBear 2
So what, he just got your name wrong. My parents do that when they're totally sober.
scince220 0
He's drunk. All he's saying is babble. He doesn't know or mean what he's saying,
cmac86 24
well, true feelings come out when drunk. jk. don't worrk about it. he's shitfaced drunk, he doesn't know what he's saying.
sarinninja 0
I'm sorry sweetie. I have been there. hugs.
jazzyWOW 0
My dad is an alcoholic, and always says things like that.. and worse. Just don't listen to him, he's a jerk!
Ross_H 0
Next time he comes home drunk, wait for him to pass out then go get a black marker and get creative on his face. Better still, duct tape him to the sofa and wheel the sofa down the road a few blocks.