Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

Noooooooo!

Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

Stuck on Amber

Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML

Alexa, play "Your Daddy's Car" by The Divine Comedy

Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML

Move!

Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

Today, I noticed I parked behind a boy I like. Trying to impress him with my driving skills, I ended up forgetting to put the car in reverse and rear-ended him. FML

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML