Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML
Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
Today, while at my job as a nurse in the ER, someone came in with a hangnail. They threw a fit that they had to wait because we were managing a heart attack, a man with colon cancer and a kid with appendicitis. FML
Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML
Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML
Today, when I was visiting my dad in the ICU, the nurse was trying to help him sit upright and his dick and balls plopped out of his hospital gown for everyone to see. FML
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Top comments
sourgirl101 29
Do doctors have pierced nipples? We'll only know if you are indeed a "doctor". You can't control what comes out of people's mouth but you can control them from being able to see your nipples. So.... YDI
mboehm88 3
That's not what this FML is about at all
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Comments (77)
zanguard 0
I can only hope that I will be that awesome when I grow old.
livetodisco 0
LOVE him
kingpedro 0
haha niice
bugsGoRawr 7
Haha I love old people, not really, but some of the things they say.
califbob 3
He must have Blue Cross insurance!
thebigblue 2
why is everyone assuming OP is a women? could be a strange perverted man.
phorest 0
#46 Maybe because it says (woman) ?
ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0
it says it's a female.
thebigblue 2
never says OP is a women just the the patient is in for the women. which means that OP could be a man and the patient say don't worry I just wanna a women. also means y'all are idiots who can't read.
suitkace 5
Clearly you can't read, it says woman at the bottom.
thebigblue 2
no it doesn't loser.
suitkace 5
Try looking a little harder, you will see it, eventually.
slipknotmaiden 3
LOL
CanadianMuse 0
What a spunky grandpa ;)
fthku 13
Why the **** pierce your nipples anyway? Let's see: Pierce your ears so you can wear earrings and display them at public. Or pierce your nipples where only you and the boyfriend can see it, and really suffer some pain there. Oh and let's not even talk about what happens if it gets pulled out. YDI for piercing your nipples and allowing patients to see them. FYL (sort of) if they aren't pierced.
sallen0046 4
I had mine pierced when I was younger. It had nothing to do with anyone seeing them, I simply enjoyed them. Very few people saw or were even aware they existed. As far as pain goes, it's nothing like you'd think. When I got them done, I had my eyes closed waiting for the excruciating pain and didn't realize they'd done the actual piercing. I thought they were still marking the area. They were actually very difficult to get snagged on anything, and I have large breasts that are always in the way. Eventually I grew out of it, and took them out, but they were incredibly easy to "hide" with bras that had very minimal padding.
theluckygirl28 8
...How'd he see your nipples?