Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML
Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
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Top comments
isallwaysme 27
at least you got some? poop afterwards
sharksfan48 13
Why not have both? *mexican music*
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Comments (81)
isallwaysme 27
at least you got some? poop afterwards
\ 28
I wish i knew the circumstances around this...
KeinBaum 12
If he did get some, how is this an FML?
KeXu 6
No please not on the airplane
Thundering_Jibbs 13
How the hell is this even an FML?
strokesie 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow. Good thing you found out what kind of girl she was early on..
Talooka 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't get why this has so many downvotes...
acerredrum 23
It has so many down votes because she is imply that the fact that she would have sex with him is a deal breaker.
strokesie 23
No, it implies that the girl just wants the D.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I agree with you. I won't however down vote your comment. There are to many sleazy ratchet women out there that think it's ok to have sex the first time you meet when it's not.
Obey_StudBoii 23
#57 Awesome no. It's called having RESPECT for your body. I'm an old fashion old school type of person :)
Alicestraza 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why exactly isn't it okay to have sex upon meeting someone? How is it disrespecting themselves? They wanted something, they got it. No one got hurt. It's their body, they can do what they want with it. This isn't the 50s where women's sexuality is regulated, nor should it be.
ThatsMyPie 20
62 - I don't see how that makes a difference in respecting her body. If they didn't use protection and she wound up with STDs, then she wouldn't have been taking care of her body. There is nothing wrong with having lots of sex.
DooleyFTW 17
Yes #62. An old fashioned old school attitude doesn't mean it's the right attitude. It's completely fine that you don't find having sex with someone you've recently met appealing but that doesn't mean you should look down on others because they enjoy sex. I realize this is fml and the point of the site is to not get the full story but you don't know the girl or OP's story, they both could've been Virgins who "RESPECT" their bodies very much. Or they could both could've had multiples partners a day prior to meeting each other but that doesn't imply they don't respect themselves. I dislike the Stone Age attitude toward sex. It drags down society as a whole in my opinion, the sooner people learn to forget that religion says sex is bad and realize that as long as people are safe and don't hurt anyone else sex is a great thing, the better off the world will be. Long comment I know!
RadikulRam 16
No one has a problem with them DOING IT ON A ******* PLANE!?
childproofpizza 19
doing it on a plane is seen as an achievement. also, people who have sex on the first date may have a bunch of STDs, plus they tend to cheat, plus they're immature,plus they dont usually have much self respect. of course this is a generalization and there could be very nice women that would do that, but still. usually.
Welshite 40
Tear off a piece of toilet paper, write "Honorary Mile-high Club Member" in fancy letters, and hand it to her. She gets what she wants, and you get your privacy.
sharksfan48 13
Why not have both? *mexican music*
BumbleBee9296 4
GO SHARKS!!
karlcolt45 19
one word for you...blumpkin... all problems solved
Vitualamen 11
You took the mile high club offer.. Right?
myeviltwin 20
I sure hope op did. Hell op said they hit it off right away. She is offering some nsa and all op can think about is taking a dump? Seriously op opportunities like that do not come around every day. Should have got some and then took a dump (providing op is single and would not be cheating of course).
Vitualamen 11
Truly putting the F in FML.
thesubbybubbies 9
Then you take her, **** her, take a shit, then go back
fboy1588 14
I see wat u did there
hannikins 13
I don't know. If the get coughs they will be in deep shit
UnluckyGenius 21
#18 the combo of this FML and your comment has to be the most heart warming thing ever.
RoseBlack123 37
Do them together!
Pwn17 25
How is this an FML? Take up the offer!
Pwn17 25
? I didn't say anything bad...
rg350dx 29
Yeah. All you said was Comment moderated in italics. I see that all the time. I don't understand the confusion.
PoisonedLiquor 17
I got one of my comments moderated because I said an FML wasn't really that bad it was cute instead.
olpally 33
Just do it all! Lol.