Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML
Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, my husband warned me we had a yellowjacket swarm move into our basement. He wasn't kidding. I'm phobic after I was swarmed as a kid, I'm watching our bug zapper literally smoke with how many it's killing, and my can of wasp spray seems woefully insufficient. They can have the house! FML
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Top comments
Kiki242 19
Suit up and get those bastards.
ArmadilloW 6
you make them sound like evil genius', also I hope your stings get better, try holding some folded kitchen towel soaked in cold water on them.
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Comments (125)
ZetaBarrie 5
How did you find time to post this?
Shrike 24
WTF?! He's stuck inside while the thing slowly runs dry. Why wouldn't he have time to post this?
Blurry_1 0
It's a good thing you're pretty
holyshitbatman 20
funny there was one almost exactly like this a month or two ago...
night72 1
Dress up like their queen and tell them to fight to the death for you!
superrocket19 17
Hornets hate to see wasted gas i guess but wow at least u didn't get murdered by em'
Metallica36176 16
I love how you wrote this.
snafu63 0
I am completely and utterly confused by the last 2 sentences in this post.
MrT302 4
And to think all those hornets sat there on the mower while the nest attacked
ohhhsnapple 14
THANK YOU.
dabeast15 7
Hornets are smart little bastards!!!
2112mike 4
So you come straight to FML?
PhishloverA 14
Maybe the hornets will team up and start riding/pushing it therefore mowing the grass for you. See? Many people hate hornets because they're afraid they'll get stung but they're actually helpful